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The topic of ‘hall passes’ for men makes a lot of women defensive—with the whole idea seeming like an ‘out’ for men who can’t commit to monogamy.

Eddie Fews, Dating & Social Development Coach based in NYC, argues that people should have the flexibility to have the relationship they desire, as long as the expectations are established before monogamy. This applies for both men and women

“If you agree to be in a monogamous, committed relationship, that’s the agreement you made. But the conversation should be had before the relationship begins  so there are no surprises later on.”

But he holds firm to the idea that mean and women are built differently, saying that “our biological order comes before the constructs of society were established.”

He makes the distinction that men want to be needed and women want to be needed.

“It’s very charming for a man if a woman can’t open the pickle jar and says, honey can you open this for me, it’s satisfies something in us so we feel needed.”

You can read more from Eddie Fews by visiting his website here.

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