Have you ever been called “picky?”
I have. A lot of women I know have too. Whether you’re single or dating or in a relationship, you might get called picky because people think you’re too demanding and too expecting of perfection.
Perfection is impossible. It simply doesn’t exist in this fallen world we live in. Being picky is not the same as seeking perfection, especially when it comes to choosing someone to who you want to share love and companionship with – why shouldn’t being picky be a norm? Why isn’t picky the norm?
When you start hitting your mid-twenties, you notice how much everyone gets this sense of urgency to pair off. Biology, I’m sure, plays a role. But so do sociocultural expectations that have women treating their lives like a checklist for which they have to “have it all.” The job, the lifestyle, and the partner of their dreams. Anything less, and you start feeling like you don’t have your shit together.
The pressures are especially evident whether you’re single and attending events alone or with a friend. Or you’re in a relationship that maybe has all the makings of something permanent but it hasn’t quite gotten there yet – you end up feeling like you’re running a sprint race and your time is being kept by a coach.
It’s not picky to take a long time to figure out who you want and what you want from another person you want to give your love to. It’s not picky to take things slowly, enjoying getting to know somebody day by day, and not rushing into securing a sense of permanence in your relationship. You deserve to be as picky as you want to be – as long as you know what you re bringing to the table. And I have found those who have the most to bring to the proverbial table, tend to be a lot pickier.
And to that, I say “Yes girl, yes.”
For the women who know what they want and won’t allow society’s ridiculous rules and timing and pressures to get to them, I say carry on.
For the women who won’t settle for anything less than what they deserve in their life because they know they will give 1000% to anyone, I say carry on.
For the women who know what that’s when it’s all said and done, they will only accept the best kind of love because they plan on giving the best kind of love, I say carry on.
You are entirely worth however long it takes to find you the love you deserve.