If your teenage years are characterized by changes to your body, your 20s are characterized by changes to your mind, and how you go about approaching life. Adulthood seems to about how to wade through a lot of the red tape of life.
But there’s no denying that the relationships we form as we grow older greatly affect who we are in the world. The people who you keep around you are the most important people in your life, so you should always make sure those people are worth it.
As you go through these changes of the mind, the reality is that there are some people you have to leave behind. The following list describes five types of people who should become irrelevant to your life:
1. The people from your past you’re still trying to impress.
You don’t always outgrow feelings of inadequacy about certain people – usually from your past – that make you feel less than. Even if you haven’t talked to people in years, it can feel like that they still have a stronghold on your life. But you need to ask: Are you better or worse off by their perceptions of you? Once you know the answer, take steps to get to the fundamental root of why they make you feel inadequate. And leave them and their perceptions in the past.
2. Toxic exes that won’t let go (or don’t want you to let go).
For the record, you can be friends with your ex. But sometimes the question boils down to: Should you? There are certain exes who are toxic and who always find their way to you when you are feeling vulnerable. And although you might be tempted to fall for their antics in a moment of weakness, don’t fall for your short-term memory. Usually exes who are toxic are miserable, and misery loves company. It’s better to be content and alone, than in such terrible company.
3. The financially incompetent people whose habits you’re tempted to pick up.
It may seem silly to refuse to be around people because of their financial habits, but it is of utmost importance to your mental health and well-being. Yes, you can have friends of varying financial earnings. But it is to your benefit to make sure all your friends are financially competent. Whatever end of financial incompetence they might be on – spending what they don’t have, or spending recklessly – we tend to pick up the habits of those we’re around.
4. People whose friendship you have to beg for.
Friendships matter. And how tragic we would be to think that we can go through life without having at least a few good friends? But friendship, as we should know by the time we get into early adulthood, is a two-way street. And you should never have to feel like you’re chasing down someone and begging them to be your friend. Not only will that sort of friendship weigh on you in the long-run, it won’t bring you the love and trust that genuine friends do.
5. People who belittle you and your goals.
It’s true that some of the direction of your dreams will change in your twenties. You’ll deal with disappointments and failures probably more than you think – hang in there, get up, and regroup. Failure is better than not trying, any day. And you don’t need people around you who are going to belittle your efforts – life is hard enough without them. You’ll often find that those who belittle your dreams, don’t even have any of their own. Surprise, surprise. Surround yourself with people who do the opposite.