Ah, Ms. Independent. We love her, we glorify her, we worship her and we are taught to want to be her. But it takes more than just blasting out Independent Woman anthems and talking the talk, we actually have to walk the walk as well. Here’s tips on the things we need to stop doing in order to be an independent woman:
1. Stop expecting a man to save you.
There, I said it. It is ingrained in girls from childhood that prince charming will be somewhere waiting for us, and will save us from ourselves and our situations. No matter the strong representations of womanhood we had, or how much we do for ourselves, there is this still this pipe dream that many of us continue to believe that a man will give us the things that we can’t give ourselves. Whether it’s monetary, emotional, or otherwise, don’t expect a man to be your everything. No one can be your everything.
2. Refusing to be helped.
On one side of the coin, you might have a woman who wishes to be saved, and on the other side, you might have one who refuses to be helped by anyone. But being independent doesn’t meant that you should never ask for help. Being independent does not mean not needing help. In fact one of the most profound things independent women know is that it sometimes takes more courage to ask for help than to do things on your own.
3. Refusing to help others.
On the road to being Ms. Independent there is a certain type of single-mindedness that you have to accomplish. Indeed as Destiny’s Child warned us, “Ladies it ain’t easy being independent.” But this should never come at the cost of helping other people. One of the hallmarks of being a truly sufficient person who knows when they need help, is also knowing when others around them need help too. Paying attention to others needs makes us grow as people.
4. Wasting their time, wasting their money.
Like it or not, money matters. And in the society that we live in, money can and does give you freedom from a lot of things but most especially freedom from want. Learn how to use your money for the things that are investments in your future, and learn how to save. Now time is a little more tricky but it deserves our attention just as much. Time is one thing that money cannot buy and how we choose to spend our time and who we choose to spend our time with reveals a lot about who we are. Independent woman know the value of time and they use it wisely.
5. Accepting a status quo they are not happy with.
This can be anything – relationships, friendships, work, society, etc. It is easy to chalk things up to, “that’s just how it is.” But truly, one of the driving forces of being an independent woman is that you do your best to change the things you believe ought to be changed. And of course this means that you start small and you start with yourself. Because at the end of the day, this is your life and the only person who can live it for you is you. So take that as the reminder that you can and should make change when you are not happy with the way things are.