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When we got married, I really wanted to sit down for some good ol’ fashioned premarital counseling before I walked down the aisle. Everyone was acting like our marriage wouldn’t last past the first year, making snide comments like, “You know, you don’t have to get married just ‘cause y’all had a baby.” The fact we were both in our 20s (I was 21 and he was 26), were dealing with the pressures of being new parents, and we were each other’s first serious relationship gave others room for pause.

Although I knew in my heart that this was right, I wanted to make our marriage as strong as possible beforehand by participating in counseling, but my husband wanted no part in it. For him, it’s a privacy thing. He doesn’t feel comfortable discussing aspects of our relationship with anyone else.

During a rocky part of our marriage, I went to my husband still crying from a fight we’d had earlier and asked him if he thought we perhaps should go to couples counseling – maybe. I was hoping my wishy-washy stance on the issue would help him be more objective in making his decision, that he wouldn’t say no just to spite me…

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