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I was lollygagging at work dreading my commute home when my fellow 9-to-5’er, Danielle Young told us a story about one of her roommates. Her roommate confided in her about her loser boyfriend. She finally got the strength to kick the John to the curb, but before Danielle could get through a commercial break of Scandal, guess who she saw walking into the apartment?

“Hey girl,” Danielle’s roomie’s loser boyfriend said to her as he walked into their apartment. Danielle was kind of surprised. She knows, most women find it easy to take their loser boyfriends back. While she didn’t want to judge her roommate, she evoked a right that not many would. Danielle told her, “You cannot come back to me and complain about him anymore. I don’t want to hear about it anymore. ”

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When she said that, I was taken back. From her vantage point, I get it. Who wants to hear a Jane complain about a no-good John, and then two seconds later they’re boo’d up again? It gets old. It’s annoying and shows that you’re full of prunes.

But as the girl who has taken them back and complained about them, I couldn’t help but feel…a way, almost like she was talking about me. When it comes to men, my dating history isn’t the best. But I’ve been ashamed of my decisions not because I thought they were wrong, but because I knew I would get the side eye from my girls.

To avoid the topic entirely, I would just lie and fake to my friends like I was completely over whichever man had my heart and mind at the time. When they weren’t looking, I’d sneak a text and try to suppress a smile when they replied with something remotely sweet or endearing.

“So have you heard from so-and-so? ” Von, my best friend would ask.

“Girl, I let that boy go. I ain’t got nothing for him.”


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