You know what the most tired and insecure line in this new era of hip-hop is? “B*tch you wasn’t with me shooting in the gym” spit by Drizzy “cinnamon hearts” Drake on “Stay Schemin’.” When that came out I was like Ooooo dayyummmmmm. Then I was like, “really? No really?”
Could the streets really have the audacity to applaud lyrically side eying a woman who is entitled to half of her cheating husband’s earnings if they were to divorce? Here’s the thing- She can’t be in the gym, she is the rock he comes home to when he’s done at the gym. It is his duty as a husband to keep the family together, he made the promise, and he signed that contract in addition to the one that comes with the hoop glory and jersey fame.
Or maybe she wasn’t really at home fulfilling her end of the agreement either but I digress….
Let me get out of celebrity dirty laundry land for a minute. Celebrity dollars or not if you are a man or woman reading this and you fear getting married because your partner may be entitled to have of your earnings, I need you to check yourself HARD. Marriage or any relationship cannot thrive on fear. Fear of money being squandered, stolen or taken, of being cheated on, fear of being alone, and fear of not being good enough. The fear, anxiety and paranoia spreads like a poison and it will ultimately affect your ability to operate as a unit within the relationship. Trust issues?
There are things we can do as individuals before we consider taking the leap with marriage or even combining incomes with anyone we are dating. Having that money conversation puts it all out on the table. Keep in mind no one is perfect, even the perfect credit score mofos (yes that is bitterness) I know have had slip ups at one point or another. There are also prenuptial and marriage agreements, designed to help couples plan ahead. Your partner may get offended at the mere mention of these agreements but if you are the cross your t’s and dot your i’s type of person they will need to get over it quickly. You’re about to build a family, not engage in an extended version of playing house.
Help make it happen for the 2013 Battle of The Sexes Tour with as little as a $1- We will be visiting Oakland, NYC, ATL, Washington DC & Los Angeles!
MUST READ: 5 Ways To Overcome Trust Issues
Don’t let butterflies and romantic poetry get your wallet jacked up. Set a dating budget, plan and save together, get to know your partner’s spending and saving habits. Maybe you can help them in one area and they can help you in another, this is what relationships are about – connecting the dots & working as a team.
I know that I can negotiate the pants off of anything but my saving skills are not the best so I naturally would not be in charge of saving and budgeting but if you give me a budget I will meet it and find the best deals. I’m a work in progress, we all are.
Be honest and open, if you are still that scared that your future husband/wife will one day walk off with half your assets you a) have not done your research b) I doubt that money is the issue.
Do you feel money conversations should be frequent in a relationship? Why or why not?
Does the idea of a marriage or prenuptial agreement offend you? why or why not?
Tweet me @goddess_I or let me know below!
Blindfold Speed Dating (Toronto)- March, 28, 2013
Battle of The Sexes (Oakland, CA) April 28 2013 (Tickets on sale next week)
I’m here for you: To inquire about workshops or ask me any burning relationship questions email firstname.lastname@example.org