I am a huge Chris Brown fan. OK, let me rephrase that, I used to be a huge Chris Brown fan! I still love his music very much. He’s like a modern day Bobby Brown. The sex appeal, bad boy image…swag. I met him several years ago, back when he was just a light skin kid who could dance. I was standing with my friend at Exit nightclub after “The Scream Tour.” I was 16, in love with B2K and cute enough to mingle in the V.I.P section of the establishment. His song “Run It” had just touched down on the radio and I only knew it because it was competing with my favorite boy band on “106 & Park.” He approached me and introduced himself. To this day I like to think it was because he thought I was attractive but it could have been that he and I looked like we were the same age, cause we were. The music was so loud, we could barely hear each other. He must have screwed my name up five times before I gave up hope that he would actually call me Shamika. “Sweet guy,” I thought. We exchanged some words and that was that. If I had to pinpoint a time, I would say it was then that I became interested in the guy they now call Breezy. I’ve followed his music ever since then. Swooning over him like the average teenage girl who thought “Young Love” was the soundtrack to her life.
I saw him one time after that at his album signing in New York. I’ll never forget how into the song “Poppin'” he was. He bobbed his head, signing CD covers as screaming fans begged for his attention. His mother was right there too. He didn’t even notice that I had given him a copy of the picture we took that night at Exit.
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Then, life happened, or should I say love happened? I hated the “Umbrella Remix,” I still do. But, even then, I couldn’t deny how cute he and Rihanna looked together. And, who doesn’t like Rihanna? I had my own relationship going on too, so it didn’t hurt the credulous side of me that thought Chris and I were going to grow up and get married. But it did hurt when I saw Rihanna’s face on the cover of the newspaper, beaten, bloody, embarrassed, vulnerable and mostly heart-broken like no woman should ever feel. I was angry. I was curious and utterly confused. At that age, it’s like you know domestic violence exists but it became real at that moment. Needless-to-say, I didn’t want to hear much music from Chris Brown for a while. Nor did my father!
But as you know, the sting of time silences wounds and aside from what the media wanted us to believe, I made my own decision and forgave him. I even feel silly for saying that. Who am I to forgive someone over something in which I have no involvement? To this day, I can’t answer that, but I know I’m not the only person who feels some sense of entitlement when it comes to celebrity’s personal life. Being in love makes you want other people to be in love, just so they can know how you’re feeling, and even at that time, back then, I know Rihanna’s heart lingered for him still.
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Chris started to regain portions of his career around the release of his mixtape “In My Zone.” I played “Too Freaky” a thousand times before realizing he was talking about sex on other tracks too. I was like a kid who found “Showtime After Dark.” Then came “Fan Of A Fan” co-starring Young Money rapper Tyga. And that mixtape proves that good music speaks louder than controversy.
A few things happened on the road to recovery though. There was the chair through the window at “Good Morning America;” the Raz-B Twitter debacle; and the new girlfriend Karrueche. Then there was that time he banned interviews (oh, that was this year) and likened himself to Tupac; or when he dressed up as a terrorist for Halloween. And who can forget the bottle bash that left his security guard and a club goer with holes in their head… All of those incidents equate to one thing. He wasn’t isn’t learning. However, we can’t only blame him for his immaturity. Who were the people who stood around him and watched him spiral out-of-control? My main argument for Chris, whenever I would find myself defending him, was that he is still young and still has time to grow. Despite my rose tinted views toward him, I knew that things weren’t looking good.
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That brings us to today, 12 days before Christmas and 18 days until 2013. Chris and Rihanna are back together and I couldn’t be happier. I think they are truly in love and it’s beautiful to watch. I wont ignore though, the fact that in the last couple of days, Chris’s mouth has gotten him into trouble. OK, I don’t care what you say, that comedic writer Jenny Johnson had it coming, but did he really have to tell her to “take them teeth out when u Sucking my d*ck H*E.”? A simple “shut up” could have sufficed! That would have been enough to get his million plus Twitter following talking and wnough for the blog sites to write about it the next morning.
As we speak, I’d bet money, that because of the following quote, a young “fat” girl is crying herself to sleep somewhere:
“The funniest sh*t is the comments on me being too skinny! Half of y’all b*tches are super obese and fat as f*ck! I dance and workout constantly! It’s called being healthy. Some need stop running their mouth and get that fat *ss on a treadmill. I can hear u wheezing on my comments.”
(frugivoremag.com)
He wrote this on his Instagram account after some of his fans commented under his picture, calling him “skinny.” He is skinny! I’m 5’8, 150 pounds so this isn’t me hating on your svelte frame but me calling you out for your insensitivity, rude behavior and blatant disregard for the people, skinny or fat, who got you here! You would be nowhere without them and nowhere if the media didn’t take an interest in you those few years ago. So forget all your hate for the blogs and the journalists you shunned–the same ones who keep you relevant by talking/writing about you. The ones who post your music, review your albums and admire your fancy footwork. This all leads me to one thing.
Have a seat Chris Brown. Seriously. I say this because I care about you. The person. If no one else will tell you, I will. Have a seat and sing and be young and rich and in love with one of the baddest chicks in the game. Only get up to dance, like you do so well. And to the critics who won’t stop poking and prodding. You can have a seat too!
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