No matter how much you love your man, he can easily tap dance on your last nerve like he is the late and great Gregory Hines. It’s so easy for you to say I love him, but… I love him, but if he leaves the toilet seat up one more time. I love him, but if he leaves one more soggy bath towel on the bed. I love him, but why must he go and use a dish two seconds after I finish cleaning the kitchen?

The men we love can be a handful, but let’s not forget, they are the men we love. Of course he’s annoying, but focusing on the positive can make you both happier.

1. Stop and think. Consider each of the following questions; be honest and specific: What do you receive from your partner? What do you give to your partner? What difficulties do you cause your partner?

How it helps: “Quiet reflection time is essential for stressed relationships,” Krech, author of Naikan: Gratitude, Grace and the Japanese Art of Self Reflection, says. This last question will help you remember that he puts up with little annoyances from you too.

2. Fulfill his fantasies. Not those fantasies. Talk to your partner about his goals and ask how you can help him achieve them. Can you deal with the kids while he works on his book? Does he need help clearing space in the garage to do some auto work?

How it helps: It’s easy to focus on what you want from him, Krech says. But you should concentrate on how you can support him and how important you are to his success.

What are two more ways you can appreciate your man? Click here to find out.

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