Dear Gay Best Friend,
I read your responses to the various letters weekly and love the advice you give, but now I have a question for you.
I am in a situation where the love of my life is not of my religious faith but has no problems with my choice in religion. However, my religion teaches that being with someone outside of the religion is wrong and considered an “uneven” union. We love each other, but there is a strong chance that I will lose my family if I should choose to marry him and start a family. So, in short, which is stronger, the bond between a man and wife, or seeking alleged favor from God? – Religion Or My Man
Dear Ms. Religion Or My Man,
Honey, honey, honey, please! This shouldn’t even be a thought, conversation, or consideration of what to do. Always, always, always choose God. I don’t care what, who, when, why, or where but when it comes to choosing between faith and a man, God should always be your first choice, life, and purpose.
I also believe, like your religion, that an uneven union will always fall. There are many factors to consider especially when it comes to various practices and prayers. Do you honor certain holidays and religious figures? Do you pray to an altar or shrine? Do you have a priest, bishop, or pastor? Many religions do not acknowledge certain foods, or medical attention. And, how will you raise a child if you decide to start a family? Will the child be from your religious faith or your husband’s? These are some of the things you have to take into consideration.
Also, this is the problem many persons face when they don’t consider the ramifications of dating and marrying someone of a different religion. And, in your case, you’ve stated that there is a chance that you may lose your family. Is family important to you? Does it matter what they think and feel about his religious upbringing? And, is he asking you to change your faith to become part of his religion? Or, is he willing to conform to yours?
Look, if you put God first you will get and have the answer you need. But, you’ve got to allow God to be number one in your life. God is not an option and nor should God be secondary to anything or anyone. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, Mogul: A Novel (Atria Books – June 2011; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, click HERE!
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