300 Sandwiches Man Asks For Help In Proposing

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Remember Stephanie Smith, the Page Six reporter who decided to share her relationship with the world via her blog, 300 Sandwiches? After Eric Schultz (Stephanie’s boyfriend) got his first sandwich from Stephanie, he made a joke saying that she’s 200 sandwiches away from an engagement ring. That joke became Stephanie’s blog and Stephanie’s blog became the location for a “‘wich” hunt as critics slammed her for holding all her expectations for getting married in between two pieces of bread. Stephanie is now getting a book deal and it looks like her boyfriend is trying to score one too.

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Eric took to the NY Post to write a column, begging the public to help him figure out how he’s going to propose to Stephanie, who is only 100 sandwiches away from getting her ring. Eric retold his and Stephanie’s love and sandwich story, then lamented on how he could propose. Eric wants to out-Kanye Kanye. He says the pressure to propose after Stephanie’s thoughtful, yet unnecessary gesture is so great, he’s at a loss and needs our help. Check out this snippet:

Now, a year and a half in, and with less than 100 sandwiches to go, not a day passes without yet another fresh reminder from friends, family, or random people in the queue at Citarella that we creep closer to the finish line, that I’d better be ready, and that now there’s a crowd watching. (“Yes, I’m aware. Thank you.”)

Few things are more nerve-rattling for a young man than preparing to propose, but having been grilled regarding when I’d pop the question by Matt Lauer on “Today” brings this fear to a whole new level.

I already know that in the eyes of the public, the stone will never be flawless enough, the ring never shiny enough and the proposal never perfect enough to satisfy the impeccable taste and boundless prowess of Internet commenters.

And after 300 tasty, lovingly made and beautifully documented sandwiches — a herculean yet unnecessary gesture — how could I possibly measure up? How could my proposal be thoughtful, original, memorable and beautiful enough to equal or surpass the scale of effort she’s given me?

(Stephanie, stop reading here.)

My original ideas — sunrise over Haleakala, fireflies trained to spell out “Marry Me” like in “The Nutty Professor II,” full page ad in The Post — now seemed comparatively quaint. Oh, the pressure.

Facing such lofty expectations, The Internet’s Worst Boyfriend® is determined to succeed and impress no matter what, despite a few recent setbacks: my original plan to propose 68 miles above the Earth aboard a Virgin Galactic flight was dashed after the first flights got delayed and I ended up a few hundred grand short of the fare. My backup plan — orchestra, ballpark, cameras rolling — was recently stolen outright by Kanye West. What’s the plan now? Specifically, how do I out-Kanye Kanye here? Someone has to one-up that guy, so let it be done by an average joe like me, who, for what it’s worth, is rather patient about his damn croissants.

A 300 dancer Bollywood proposal spectacular?

300 John Cusacks with boomboxes overhead?

A 300-member flashmob gospel choir?

A combination of the three? I’m stumped. So I hereby request the creative genius of the all-knowing and infinitely wise Internet: Tweet me your ideas at @mr300sandwiches and help contribute to the greatest proposal extravaganza ever. After 300 sandwiches, only something that even Yeezy hasn’t done will suffice.

My first reaction is–“That will be enough with the sandwiches.” But how dd Stephanie react? She wrote on her blog, “Am I happy? Am I excited? Do I feel like our engagement is just a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches away? Actually, I feel disappointed.” Although she never said why.

I wonder why?

Here’s a suggestion for Eric. Take seven of the most special sandwiches, whether it be the first, the tastiest, the one with his favorite ingredients, etc. and over a week’s time, make those sandwiches and on the seventh day, put the ring in the sammie. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am.

Check out a few of the sandwiches we love & think Eric should recreate in the week leading up to his proposal: