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I remember back in college, my main hustle was retail. In addition to the obvious perks of having a closet full of new discounted clothes at my disposal, I enjoyed working with an amazing set of women most of whom I have remained friends with to this very day.

Aside from the 8-hour fashion show, convincing customers that they needed all 8 colors of the same shirt and developing a tough as nails attitude when dealing with demanding clients, from time to time we all had visitors. They may have been friends who wanted the hook up, men who just stopped by to spit a couple of slick lines or peeps who waited for your shift to be over so you could hit the town.

I remember this particular dude would come into the store for my co-worker on occasion to say hi. One day I ended up having a great conversation with him and instantly felt a connection, but I wondered what his connection was to my co-worker. I knew he wasn’t her boyfriend and his body language was hinting that he was unattached and available.

To make a long story short, we ended up dating for a short time, but not before I asked “permission” from my co-worker who I found out what his ex-girlfriend. They dated in high school and had remained good friends. I remember being told that what I was doing was wrong, Girl you can’t date Chiquita Bonita s ex-man! However I felt that since I had approached my co-worker and let her know what I was feeling that things were kosher. But then again, it’s rare that someone would just tell you straight up NO, you can’t date him!

This was years ago, and to this day I remain good friends with the man and my co-worker. Most situations don t play out like that. Not everyone is comfortable with a friend dating their ex-boyfriend. It’s normal for tempers to flare and emotions to erupt in a situation like that, but when you are over someone emotionally, who he dates shouldn’t  matter, or does it?

Ladies, what is the protocol regarding dating a girlfriend s ex-boyfriend? Is a girlfriend s ex-boyfriend simply off limits? Does it depend on how serious the relationship was or is it simply a keep your hands off him situation?

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Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Follow her on twitter @goddess_I

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