Dear Kareem,
My boyfriend moved out in January. We had been together almost 3 years, and we were having financial problems – he was out of work, and in my eyes he wasn’t trying hard enough to find a job. (He’s got one now.)
They say hindsight is 20-20, and I now look back and realize that I pushed a good man away, between my insecurities, my constant bickering, and my lack of trust.
I’ve spent the past few months “working” on myself, just spending time at home going back over my relationship. He, on the other hand, jumped into a relationship with another woman. I don’t blame him because I physically and emotionally pushed him away. It’s a classic case of a rebound relationship. I guess my question… is how long do I wait to try to get him back?
I’ve seen him once since then, and he tells me he still loves me, but doesn’t want to hurt her… Okay…it hasn’t been a bed of roses for me either.
We have a lot of mutual friends who say he still loves me, yadda yadda yadda, but at this point I don’t know what to believe. Help!
Kareem says:
This does appear to be a classic case of a rebound relationship. I’m curious as to whether he is truly “with” this new girl, or if they are just killing time. I’m sure she does not know she is a rebound chick, and he is probably telling her anything to keep her around. Men do this all the time – we call it “having a soft landing.”
I’m glad that you realize your mistakes in the relationship. I think that you two should work on being in a friendship before rekindling a romantic or sexual relationship. Maybe it will work out in the long run.
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How does a man choose between two women? Kareem answers.
