You love your guy. He loves you. But do you wonder if he still wants you like he did when your romance was new?
Here are some tips that’s sure to keep your man wanting more:
1. Utter the One Word That Drives Him Nuts
As lovey-dovey as pet names make him feel, they still don’t compare to the electrifying rush your man gets when his name crosses your lips. “Just hearing it is an aphrodisiac,” says body-language expert Eve Marx, author of Read My Hips. “It ratchets up his desire because the message you send is ‘It’s you I’m thinking about and no one else.’ And men need to hear that – it’s tied to their primal urge to beat out all the competition.”
However, just blurting out his moniker as often as possible isn’t going to do it for him. You need to make it count. For instance, when you’re feeling sexy in a public setting, like in a dark bar, drop it into conversation in surprising spots and pause for a beat or two: “And then…Jeremy…I slammed the door behind me.”
Or try another trick when he’s putting the moves on you: Just kind of coo his name to draw his focus entirely on to you. “When Jake and I are getting it on, sometimes it feels like he’s lost in his own head,” says Sandrine,* 26. “But when I moan his name, everything feels like it gets more intense between us, like it brings him into the moment.”
2. Reach into His Pocket for the Keys
Well, more than just the keys. The lesson is this: “Never underestimate the power of an unexpected touch,” says David Niven, PhD, author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Great Relationships. “Just by stimulating his nerve endings when he’s not prepared for it, you create a positive physical connection that leaves your man wanting more.” Even better, your guy subconsciously gets hooked on those mini-moments of excitement and craves them when you’re not around. From now on, be on the lookout for opportune moments to touch him “accidentally.” For example, don’t ask him for his keys…glide your hand into his pocket and slowly take them out. Don’t ask him to pass the salt…reach across him, letting your breasts rub against his arm. Don’t walk past him in a crowded bar…press your rear into his gear. According to Tricia, 25, these sneak attacks work like a charm. “If I’ve been really touchy-feely with Rob, the next morning, he’ll be really snuggly,” she says. “It’s like he wants to be closer to me.”
3. Keep Him Out of the Loop
The funny thing about men is that telling them less about your life makes them long for you more. So as much as you might want to share the minutiae of your bitchy workplace or your take on the latest Grey’s Anatomy plot twist, hold back. “The hard truth is that from his end, that information is overwhelming and boring,” explains Douglas Weiss, PhD, author of The 7 Love Agreements. “Men don’t have the capacity to endure great amounts of detail. That’s one reason why they don’t give you the play-by-play of their lives.”
Edit your small talk and you’ll make a discovery: The less you tell him, the more interested he’ll become in your day-to-day, as Susan, 27, can attest. “If I’m vague or dismissive about what I’ve been up to – like ‘Oh, nothing. The usual. Work. Out with the girls’ – Dave becomes eager to hear the story,” she says. “And when he’s the instigator, he listens more closely.”
So to hook him in, when you’re chatting, give him the conclusion of the conversation first. For instance, “I got the job” or “I saw your buddy Mark,” and then stop and wait. You’ve gotten his attention, now let him draw out the details he’s dying to know from you.
4. Make Small Changes for Big Results
Caroline, 26, had gotten haircuts in the past that her guy hadn’t noticed at all, but when she had her brunette crown streaked red, he was all over her. “Jake couldn’t stop touching me – he couldn’t believe he was fooling around with a redhead,” she says. The reason her new do drove him nuts: “Men register eye-catching changes to your appearance, and it draws them to you,” says Lori Buckley, PsyD. “Adding novelty will keep his desire for you strong.”
There’s a catch though: If you want to snag his immediate interest, the change has to be guy-visible. “To activate his desire, it has to be a departure from your everyday look,” says David Buss, PhD, author of The Evolution of Desire. Maybe take a break from your jeans routine and strut around in a miniskirt. Wear a noticeably higher heel. Or ditch your bra for a day and put a little extra bounce in your step.