“Males are weak.” No sh*t Shirlock. It isn’t like I or any other woman haven’t heard that enabling yet useless piece of information passed down from our grandmothers, mothers, aunts, older sisters and older cousins before but, what makes a man cheat isn’t only that they’re weak… According to Ebrahim Aseem, it’s a combination of things: control issues, mental sensitivity and the big E word…ego.
Aseem set out to tackle the age-old question, “Why Do Men Cheat On Loyal Women?” because there are women out there still trying to figure out how to get their boyfriend, lover or husband to stop sleeping around behind their back.
Let’s be frank, if a man wants to cheat he will. They don’t ever need an excuse nor will the biggest butt, longest hair or prettiest face persuade them to be faithful. We’ve even heard men defend polygamy–it’s in our genetics or she wasn’t there for me, ie: Tina Campbell, who personally took responsibility for her husband’s cheating ways. But, let Aseem tell it, “Males cheat on loyal women to boost their ego.”
Infidelity (among other things) is often times devastating to a relationship. Trust is lost, an overwhelming feeling of betrayal looms over every activity and that sense of intimacy you shared with that individual is questioned. Few relationships survive infidelity but some do and Aseem says that’s all apart of the males’ plan to manipulate a “good” woman to settle down with him. Geez, I didn’t know it was so deep. Here I was thinking men just couldn’t keep their stick in their pants.
“How a male treats a woman is NOT a reflection of HER worth,” he wrote. “Nor is it a reflection on anything she LACKS or is not doing. An overly macho, mentally weak, sensitive-minded male knows he does not DESERVE a strong-minded woman. In his mind, he thinks one day she will mentally awaken to the realization she deserves better than him & leave him. This is why males cheat on a woman, to have POWER over her. He cheats on her to boost his ego.”
“Most ‘males’ are more insecure than women,” he continued. “Notice I referred to a ‘male’ and not a ‘man,’ as there is a distinct difference. Many males have VERY low self-esteem. You can tell, that’s why he says, ‘I only fuck with bad b*tches.’ He is saying this to convince himself, attempting to drown out his insecurities that are on repeat inside of his own mind.”
But what does all of this have to do with the actual act? “By cheating on a good woman, it makes a weak-minded male feel he has POWER over her. It makes him feel he is worth more than her. A male knows if he cheats on a loyal woman, she will care about him more. Yes, initially she will be shocked a man has the audacity to cheat on her, especially with an UGLY woman.”
Many women can relate to this scenario. Having been cheated on, I too can understand the sting behind an affair and how insulting it is to oneself for the side chick to be “ugly.” In reality, I think cheating, whether it’s with a woman who looks like Halle Berry or someone on the complete opposite side of beautiful, hurts all the same. I’ve experienced this first hand and the aftermath only made me question myself.
“Then she will try to stay with him to PROVE to him she is better than the girl he cheated on her with,” he wrote, again speaking to girls like me who’ve tried to “prove” that they are the better woman after coming face to face with their man’s infidelity.
“This is reverse psychology. A weak-minded male just got a Good Woman to mentally submit herself to a mentally immature man, purely by cheating on her. Males use cheating to TRICK a good woman into SETTLING for him. But this mind game many males play cannot and will not work on a Loyal woman who knows her WORTH.”
While it’s bothersome to associate loyalty as a sign of weakness, Aseem’s observations strike a cord in myself.
What do you Beauties think? Does the author have a point? What are your thoughts?
Read the full article, here.
1. All My Single Ladies!
44 percent of adults in Americans are single, according to U.S. Census figures. This means that there are over 100 million unattached folks out there! So hey beautiful single lady, you're not alone. So in the spirit of our singlehood, here are some single girl do's that will help you find a new mate and a list of don'ts that will help you stop the things that may not be the best things to do to attract a mate.
...try a new workout class you may be intimidated by, and extra points if you sign up for a class with a cute instructor!
...try hacking onto your crush's accounts to confirm that you are compatible. This will just make you look compatible for a straight jacket. Unless you can do it...
...hit on the barista and not the bartender (Only 9 percent of women say they've found a relationship at a bar or club, according to Match.com).
...be afraid to try online dating, from Grouper to Match.com to OKCupid, there's something for everyone! And according to Match.com, 1/3 of singles reported dating someone they met online. Girl, get online!
...watch "Scandal" marathons shamelessly, but not without your partner in crime, best friend and savior--red wine.
...drunk text, call, Gchat or Facebook exes. Not in that order, or...ever.
...host a girl's night in or out. Staying connected to the loving ladies in your life keeps you in high spirits and if you're out--your chances of meeting someone new are higher. And you know what that means...goodbye single life!
...eat eat Marie Calendars' "Meals for One," exclusively or get caught up in cooking for one. Cook enough for more than one and you can have something to eat for lunch or dinner during the week.
...introduce a vibrator into your life, like the We-Vibe's "The Touch." Nothing says loving like..well...self love. Check it out: http://we-vibe.com/touch
...update your Facebook, or Twitter status to read something such as: "Why isn't real life like 50 Shades of Grey? Ugh, will I ever find my Christian Grey?" The answer is: no. You will most likely not find a man with a red room and deep fears of intimacy. Personally we think a vibrator sounds more fun than a safe word anyway.