Ok I get it, there’s a natural hair revolution going on. While some seem to think this movement needs to be chronicled, discussed and lauded with every woman who forgoes a perm, for me it has just become exhausting. When someone forwarded me a post about a natural hair sorority by the name of “Pi Nappa Kappa,” I almost vomited. I don’t even like India Arie, but thank God she made that song “I Am Not My Hair,” it’s about time we all took it out for a listen.
1. My Hair Is Healthy
I’ve had a relaxer since 3rd grade. I’ve also had an extremely healthy head of hair my entire life. Save some stress induced moments, I’ve never had problems with breakage, my hair falling out or an inability to maintain healthy hair. In fact, my hair grows so fast, men, co-workers and friends comment frequently. So that said, no, the creamy crack isn’t killing my scalp. I’m good over here, thanks.
2. I’m Lazy
For some reason people seem to think going natural is less maintenance. Yeah, not so much! Do you realize how much more effort goes in to conditioning, “training”, deep-conditioning, texturizing and curly pudding research in order to maintain a healthy head of natural hair? I’m lazy and have no desire to do all of that.
3. Natural Women Can’t Stop Talking About Being Natural
Of course this is a gross generalization, but have you ever been out with two women who meet for the first time and realize they are both natural? For the next 15 minutes the table conversation will be completely focused on their natural hair journey. When did you go natural? What products do you use? How does your curl pattern fall in the summer vs. winter? Have you ever tried “Mixed Chicks”? Le Sigh. Strike up India Arie again.
4. The In-Between Phase
Smh. Have you ever met up with a girlfriend you haven’t seen in four to six months and her head is looking um, er, rough? Yep, she’s growing out her perm. Suddenly she’s rocking headbands and scarves when she previously didn’t own such things. Then one day she just chops her hair off completely and she’s rocking an undefined ‘fro. I have no desire to do that–none whatsoever.
5. I like My Hairstyle
I wear my hair short. Nia Long/Halle Berry Short. That requires my hair to lay flat against my head. I like the way my hair looks and to be honest, if I didn’t have a perm, it wouldn’t be able to look like that. It’s my personal style choice and it took me years to figure it out. For the time being I’m rocking short-hair-don’t-care. Can I live?
I’m always in support of Black women rocking their beauty in whichever style they desire and give mad props to the natural hair chicks. I write this article in jest, but honestly, let’s just chill out with all the hair talk. Please stop selling me a dream that I’m going to become a more “authentic” Black woman if I stop getting a relaxer. No one (including years of white oppression) is “forcing” me to straighten my hair. Choosing to get rid of my relaxer would not signify some personal revelation of freedom for me. My hair is not a lifestyle choice it’s a style choice. Come on y’all, it’s hair–just hair. And the real beauty of this whole thing is that today, we can all choose to do what we want with it.
Are you ‘happy to be nappy’ or ‘addicted to creamy crack’? Follow me on twitter @leighdav and let’s talk about it!
Also On HelloBeautiful:
1. Blue. #May10 #NYC
2. Blue Ivy & Jay Z Sip Tea
Blue is surely the apple of Daddy's eye.
3. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Smell The Roses
Beyonce seems like the coolest mom.
4. Blue Ivy & Beyonce Soar The Big Skies
5. Blue Ivy & Mommy
6. Daddy & Me
Blue Ivy walks across mommy's at-home photoshoot, but it's the most adorable photobomb ever!
8. One Big Happy Family
The royal family, Bey, Jay & Blue are all out shopping and we're sure they spent our entire life's savings in 30 minutes or less.
9. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Beyonce in these heels though?!
10. Beyoncé & Blue in NYC — Nov. 4
Look at Blue in her adorable little bow!
11. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Blue holding on to mommy for dear life.
12. Beyoncé & Blue spotted in NYC — Nov. 4
Momma Bey looking fierce with her mini me in tow.
13. Blue dressed as Michael Jackson.
14. Blue & Ivy
Just look at that face. Seriously, Jay could never deny this child! She knows how to make all his mean mugs!
15. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
Look at that cutie!
16. Beyoncé, Jay Z & Blue in Beverly Hills — Nov. 11
OMG Blue in a top knot? Yasss!
Blue has grown up to be an adorable toddler! We're swooning over this photo of her playing on the beach.
Looks like Blue is taking a walk in mom's shoes...literally.
19. Beyoncé & Blue
There's nothing like being cuddled up in mom's arms.
Blue is looking all kinds of adorable! Look at that left hand go! LOL.
21. Blue On The Big Screen
Bey & Jay look at Blue during a video played at an "On The Run" tour stop. How precious!
22. Pardon Blue's Back
She's growing up so fast! We're loving the top knot. Take that Blue Ivy hair critics!
23. Jump Around
Bey & Blue share an adorable moment on the trampoline. Hello summer!
24. Rocking Some Cute Ponytails
Blue Ivy was spotted with a new 'do! Bey & Jay's mini-me was holding on to her father during a little day stroll.
25. Strolling With Mom & Dad
Blue, Jay and Bey all spotted in East Hampton.
26. Blue Has A Manicure Day With Mama Bey
"Me and my Blue, and my Blue Blue, riding🐝"
27. Hanging Out With Mom
Baby Blue is walking to the door, and it looks like Bey is trying to keep up!
28. Trying On Some Heels
Will Blue be slaying a performance in the near future?
29. Holding On To Mom
Blue looks like she has something to say to Bey.
30. Playing A Game Of Tennis
Blue walks on the tennis court.
31. Cuddling With Mom
Blue & Beyonce have some much-needed cuddle time.
32. Blue Ivy
"The blueprint 🐝"
33. Bey & Blue Take A Stroll
Doesn't Blue look adorable with her colorful dress and cute hair ribbon?
34. The Carter Lounge Together
The family was seen out and about.
35. Jay Z Carries Blue While Bey Looks On
Jay carries Blue in his arms.
36. Leading The Way
Blue Ivy looks too cute with her bowler hat and Mama Bey watching from behind. She's really growing up!
37. Out On The Town
Blue Ivy & Momma Bey enjoy some much deserved time off in Spain.
38. Traveling With Mom and Dad
Blue is used to traveling with Mama Bey and Poppa Jay, but she also looked a little flustered at some moments. It's ok, baby Blue!
39. A Day At The Park
Poppa Jay Z lets Blue Ivy have her way with the bouncy horse.
40. It's A Family Affair
Beyonce, Jay and Blue jetsetting in Dublin.
Blue dressed up like a hipster and plays a quick game of peekaboo! How adorable!
42. OMG It's Blue's Beautiful Face!
FINALLY! We get to see how beautiful Blue is! Look at the adorable headband! "Blue 💙"
43. Blue Ivy
Life's a beach!
44. Brooklyn Stand Up!
"Beyonce & Blue"
45. Blue Ivy's Got Her Own iPhone
"Momma, what's your password?"
46. Beyonce's Lazy Day With Blue
"Momma, I asked you for your password!"
47. When Blue Ivy Takes Your Phone, Beyonce Be Like...
"Fine, I'll go ask Daddy!"
48. Blue Ivy On Tour
"Bey & Blue"
49. It's Playtime
Beyonce & Blue take some time out to play.
50. A Chilly Day In NYC
"Beyoncé, Jay Z and Blue Ivy in NYC - Jan. 19"
51. All Bundled Up
The royal family makes their way to their fancy car.
52. Kisses From Dad
Blue's all bundled up, getting love from Daddy.
53. Blue At The White House
Blue Ivy's taking after mommy and writing a letter.
54. Blue Loves Bo
The White House pup, Bo is showing Blue Ivy some love.
55. The Carters At The White House
Check out the royal family checking out the scene at the White House.
56. It's Christmas Time Again
Blue and Bey checking out the White House Christmas tree.
57. Blue Lovin' Bo
Blue Ivy, dressed like a Princess, showing Bo some love.
58. Like Father, Like Daughter
Blue playing dress up with Daddy's hat.
59. Fun Times With Mommy
Blue Ivy spends some QT with mommy.
60. Mommy & Me
Blue and Bey take a break for some snacks.
61. Silvery Blue
Beyonce carries Blue, while the adorable toddler rocks a metallic jacket that we want and need.
62. The Holy Grail
Blue, Bey & Jay
63. One Big Happy Family
"#miami #newyear #2014"
"Beyoncé & Blue 💙"
65. Blue & Daddy In A Blue Jacket
"Jay and Blue 💙 #NewYear #2014 #Miami"
66. Hold On To Me
"Happy New Year Mommy!"
67. Dora Dora Dora The Explorer
"Beyoncé, Blue and Dora the Explorer"
68. Daddy & Bey
"Look over there Blue, you own that too."
69. Blue's Big B-Day
"Mommy make sure they can only see the back of my head."
70. Painted Faces For Blue's Bday
"Let me get down Mommy, I wanna play!"
71. Kisses From Mommy
Beyonce and Blue prepping for Momma Tina's Masquerade Ball
72. Talk To The Hand!
Beyonce, Jay Z and Blue Ivy were spotted leaving Joey's restaurant in Miami, on January 8th, and Blue had a message for the paps! Talk to the hand!
73. Me & My Daddy
While Beyonce's arm rested, Jay carried Blue from Joey's restaurant, in Miami on January 8th.
74. Blue's First Words
"I'm ready to slay right along with you, Ma!"
75. Imagine The Sound Of This Lullaby
A newborn Blue Ivy gets serenaded by her superstar mother.
76. Don't Mess With Blue!
Every now and again, Blue Ivy reminds you...she is her father's child!
77. All Gold Everything
Blue Ivy takes after her dad's swag. The inseparable duo were spotted in South Beach, Miami illuminating the streets outside their hotel with their yellow luster!
78. All Of The Lights!
"Mommy! All the pretty colors are so blinding! I'm...just..so..overwhelmed! When's my shot coming?! When's my shot coming?!" Blue plays on set with Bey at her 'Blow' video shoot.
79. Hey Blue!
"I can be happy sometimes, see?"
80. Blue Ivy With Daddy
"Why are we clapping, again? I'm not in the shot."
81. Jay Z Tries To Get Blue To Listen To "Magna Carta Holy Grail"
"Daddy, I'm more of a Nas fan."
82. Stepping With Mom
"Wait, Ma. I want the camera to see all angles of this sick dress!"
83. Splashin' & Playin'
"Mom, this water is clean, right? Because I'm not trying to splash in water I can't trust."
84. Beyonce Discusses Important Matters
"Mommy, I completely get it. Yes, I promise to watch the throne."
85. Mommy's Hugs
"Ok, Ma. I love you to pieces, but I like oxygen too." Bey may be the Queen, but this scene from her video "Blue" makes it look as if she can't get enough of being Mom.
86. Blue Ivy Twirls
"Aaaahh, I'm having so much fun not thinking about anything...wiippeee...oh, wait...getting a little sick."
87. Just So You Know...
"I run things. Don't get it twisted."
88. Mommy & Me Loungin'
"Oh, Mommy, I'm so tired of seeing the wigs you snatched last night all on our floor. It's so exhausting. Like, when're they getting picked up? Not now? Oh. Ok."
89. A Kiss For Blue
"Mommy, let me sleep, dang!"
90. Slurpin' On That Milk...Slurpin' Slurpin' On That Milk
"Mommy, gimme that bottle!"
We could watch this adorable GIF of Blue Ivy nonstop forever!
92. Jay Sneaks In Kisses
"Dadddd! Get..Away!..I don't want...No, ugh..No kisses!"
93. Blue Stares Back...
"Hey! Who's that?!"
94. Blue Still Doesn't Get Why Anyone's Here
"No, really, who are you? You're getting to close."
95. Blue and Bey Out For Lunch
"I'm over this now. People just won't let us be. Mom, why can't we just be?!"
96. Blue Is One Tough Cookie
"Ma, please let me just kick them in the face. Like, please, I can't see through all these lights."
97. Blue Jetsets With Jay
"Dad, do we own this boat? I just figured we owned everything, so..."
98. Beyonce Keeps Blue Covered
"Mommy, I think you forgot my feet. I'm cold right now. Are we inside?"
99. Beyonce LOVES Her Blue
Look at that face, how could you not kiss it?!
100. Blue Swings With Mommy
"I like the swing, this is nice, Mom--Oh, I'll let you pose for that shot."