5 Reasons I Have No Desire To Go Natural…And You Can't Make Me

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Ok I get it, there’s a natural hair revolution going on. While some seem to think this movement needs to be chronicled, discussed and lauded with every woman who forgoes a perm, for me it has just become exhausting. When someone forwarded me a post about a natural hair sorority by the name of “Pi Nappa Kappa,” I almost vomited. I don’t even like India Arie, but thank God she made that song “I Am Not My Hair,” it’s about time we all took it out for a listen.

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1. My Hair Is Healthy
I’ve had a relaxer since 3rd grade. I’ve also had an extremely healthy head of hair my entire life. Save some stress induced moments, I’ve never had problems with breakage, my hair falling out or an inability to maintain healthy hair. In fact, my hair grows so fast, men, co-workers and friends comment frequently. So that said, no, the creamy crack isn’t killing my scalp. I’m good over here, thanks.

2. I’m Lazy
For some reason people seem to think going natural is less maintenance. Yeah, not so much! Do you realize how much more effort goes in to conditioning, “training”, deep-conditioning, texturizing and curly pudding research in order to maintain a healthy head of natural hair?  I’m lazy and have no desire to do all of that.

3. Natural Women Can’t Stop Talking About Being Natural
Of course this is a gross generalization, but have you ever been out with two women who meet for the first time and realize they are both natural? For the next 15 minutes the table conversation will be completely focused on their natural hair journey. When did you go natural? What products do you use? How does your curl pattern fall in the summer vs. winter? Have you ever tried “Mixed Chicks”? Le Sigh. Strike up India Arie again.

4. The In-Between Phase
Smh. Have you ever met up with a girlfriend you haven’t seen in four to six months and her head is looking um, er, rough? Yep, she’s growing out her perm. Suddenly she’s rocking headbands and scarves when she previously didn’t own such things. Then one day she just chops her hair off completely and she’s rocking an undefined ‘fro. I have no desire to do that–none whatsoever.

5. I like My Hairstyle
I wear my hair short. Nia Long/Halle Berry Short. That requires my hair to lay flat against my head. I like the way my hair looks and to be honest, if I didn’t have a perm, it wouldn’t be able to look like that. It’s my personal style choice and it took me years to figure it out. For the time being I’m rocking short-hair-don’t-care. Can I live?

I’m always in support of Black women rocking their beauty in whichever style they desire and give mad props to the natural hair chicks.  I write this article in jest, but honestly, let’s just chill out with all the hair talk. Please stop selling me a dream that I’m going to become a more “authentic” Black woman if I stop getting a relaxer. No one (including years of white oppression) is “forcing” me to straighten my hair. Choosing to get rid of my relaxer would not signify some personal revelation of freedom for me. My hair is not a lifestyle choice it’s a style choice. Come on y’all, it’s hair–just hair. And the real beauty of this whole thing is that today, we can all choose to do what we want with it.

Are you ‘happy to be nappy’ or ‘addicted to creamy crack’? Follow me on twitter @leighdav and let’s talk about it!

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