I have had male best friends since before I can remember and with that there are many pros and cons, but the thing that stands out is that I have always found myself in the “friend zone.” Being in such a position I have had an inside look at a man’s life, which has taught me a few things about relationships and men.
The first thing I learned when I was very little is that when a girl enters the “friend zone” she will be treated like a friend, out goes the lessons moms everywhere try to teach their little boys. I remember a specific incident when I was five with my best friend, he was upset at losing at a game so he took a plastic tube and smacked me across the face with it. This was no Chris Brown like beat down, but I can honestly say that was my first “friend zone” surprise.
Is It Time To End The Friendship?
The surprises certainly didn’t end there. When I was in High School and college I got my second “friend zone” lesson: men are gross. One day at a basketball game a bunch of guys and myself were enjoying the game when the topic of conversation turned to something I never thought would be talked about in a females presence, male pubic hair. That day I learned how often, what technique was used, and all the ins and outs of shaving the male pubic region.
A few years later I went to visit a male friend at college and got another lesson. When I walked in on Wednesday the fraternity house was a complete mess. I am talking dried milk spills on the floor, garbage piled in the stairwells, empty Solo cups in the hallways kind of mess. I was disgusted to say the least. Over the next two days the house underwent a transformation. Friday is when the girls come and the house that I saw on Friday was not the same that I saw Wednesday. Friday there was a smell of Lysol, no garbage in sight, and the house was completely put together. I was lucky enough to see the organized attack these boys had, too.These boys had a plan of attack more intense than some battle plans. For those unsuspecting women who came Friday, they had no idea what kind of pigs they were really dealing with, which I am sure is just how those boys wanted to keep it. The milk they were putting on their cereal came from the same jug a guy drank straight from just days earlier. When a man wants to impress a woman, he does some crazy things.
Everything I learned in the friend zone was not bad or surprising, though. I learned that “just friends” works. My best friend and I have been such for almost a decade and it works just fine for us. We both know that we can go to each other with anything and have been through a lot together. I was the one there when he was having family problems, he was the one there when I watched multiple family members leave us. I have seen him in his most vulnerable state and he has seen me at my worst, but through it all we remain good friends.
My friends also taught me the loyalty that male friends have. When one of our friends was a little too intoxicated and started a fight, though the rest of the group thought he was wrong, they still had his back. Under no circumstances have I seen one of my male friends leave his friend without help. I have gone through many female friends in my life, but my most loyal friends are my guy friends.
Overall, being in the “friend zone” has given me an insight on men that is pretty unique. I am not saying that all men are like mine or that what I have discovered is always true. I just know that when I see a group of guys sitting around talking or visit a guys house on the weekend I never have thought of it the same.
Can Men and Women Be “Just Friends”?
When “Just Friends” Doesn’t Work…
