By now, we have all heard of the death of Kandi Burress’ of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, ex-fiancée AJ Jewell. The death of anyone in your life is hard but when it is a person that you once shared your life with it can be devastating. Experts say that there are five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Here are three other things that you may want to try to avoid if, god forbid, you have to deal with this challenge in your life.
- Resist the urge to break-up with your current boyfriend. Grief can make you feel like isolating yourself but being around loved ones can help you to deal with the pain of your loss better. He was your Ex-boyfriend and you moved on when he was alive so stay away from breaking up with you current guy because he did nothing to wrong. Keeping your life as close to the way it was before the death will make the grieving process easier.
- Feeling nostalgic is normal but try not to martyrize the person. No one is perfect and there was a reason why you broke up in the first place. Remember the love but do not block out all of the bad experiences that you shared, which were apart of the relationship too. Making that person into a martyr in your head will not serve you when trying to deal with your grief because you can miss that person but try to be honest with yourself about your experience with him if you ever want to find love again. No one can compete with a perfect ghost!
- It is natural to feel closer to his friends and family, you all have that person in common. Try not to pull an ‘Elizabeth Taylor’ move, where you start a relationship with his best friend and/or brother. Even if you start hanging out regularly in the beginning, the grief may make you feel extremely close. But if you have a sexual relationship with someone that was once close an Ex, you are asking for trouble because you went from grieving him to feeling like you betrayed him.