Now ladies, take heed so you won’t find yourself in any of these positions I am about to describe that we men take account of. 10 ways to tell if you are Mrs. Wrong (Maybe Mrs. Right Now, but definitely Mrs. Wrong!)

1. Any time you update your status on Facebook, there are always at least 30 men making sexually explicit suggestions, regardless of what your status was referring to.

2. You have 4 children by 5 men AND you still live at home with your mother!

3. You know every basketball players name on every NBA team but you don’t know the identity of your 2 children’s father.

4. We met via Twitter and you know the name of EVERY woman who has Tweeted me in the last 7 days.

5. You won’t go out and get a job but you have the phone number to every social service and government agency that can assist you.

6. Every time we’re walking down the street or driving in my car, you duck whenever a Mercedes Benz, BMW or Lexus drives by.

7. Whenever we go out on a date, you always answer your phone with a whisper or you quickly jump up and have a conversation yards away from me.

8. Whenever I come pick you up from your house, your family snickers when I walk up and then laugh when I walk away.

9. You claim you’ve never given oral sex yet you suck better than a vacuum cleaner.

10. While walking down different streets, different guys have different nicknames for you.

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