No one really wants to have an argument, it creates tension, resentment and can sometimes completely destroy a relationship. However, because no two humans can exist in total harmony (don’t believe those who’ve claimed they’ve never argued), it is inevitable that at one time or another you will have an argument.
Here are some tips to help you get through an argument:
1. Make sure the topic is worth your time and energy:
Is getting all upset because someone forgot to put the toilet paper on the role really worth an argument? Certainly this can be solved by a simple “please”.
2. Each person should be given their own uninterrupted time to explain their concern and be heard:
If only one person does the finger pointing and doesn’t allow the other to have any input, you will never solve the issue. Whether you want to hear the other’s side or not; let them speak and listen to what they are saying. You would expect to have your own turn when it’s your time. If you are both talking at the same time, what can be heard?
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3. Don’t use cut downs or verbal insults:
If you’re trying to get your point across you won’t be heard if you are demeaning someone. Your partner will shut down or fight back the same way you are. Verbal abuse will not solve anything; in fact, this will only start another argument.
4. Don’t act as though what you are hearing isn’t important to you:
The argumen began because there was an issue at hand that upset someone. Whether you think it matters or not, let the talker be heard. Otherwise, you’ll find that you may be shut out in the future when you have something to say. In other words, why should you be heard if you didn’t allow someone else to be?
5. Seek Solutions:
Don’t beat a dead horse. If you are arguing about a topic that has caused distress in the past, it means you never solved it or the other party failed to take your concerns seriously. Discuss ways you can avoid the topic from becoming an argument in the future and learn to compromise even if you think it’s insignificant.
