Listen, in a different world before I ever became a writer, I used to waitress at the Red Lobster in Matteson, IL. It wasn’t an easy job—pushy customers, long hours and I always came home smelling like fried shrimp and cocktail sauce—but what made it all right were the cheddar bay biscuits.
Whether management knew or not, I ate as many as I wanted, every shift and I didn’t give two shakes.
What I also know is that my love for these cheesy buttery little pastries that melt in your mouth is that damn near everyone in America loves them. And now, this Valentine’s Day, you can gift them to your love in a bright red heart-shaped box.
According to the popular seafood chain, starting on Feb. 10, if customers come in and half a dozen biscuits to go, they will be offered a decorative box with the phrase, “You’re My Lobster” decked on the front for a mere $1.
“Don’t be cliché with flowers or chocolates this Valentine’s Day! Starting February 10, give your “cheddar bae” the gift of everyone’s favorite indulgence by ordering a half-dozen Cheddar Bay Biscuits TO GO from REDLOBSTER.COM, which can be picked up in a restaurant or conveniently delivered to your (or your loved one’s) door,” they wrote in a press release.
“Whether it’s a savory surprise for your sweetheart or a well-deserved treat just for you, Cheddar Bay Biscuits are the way to everyone’s heart this Valentine’s Day,” said Salli Setta, President & Chief Concept Officer, Red Lobster.
“Now, thanks to Red Lobster To Go, it’s easier and more convenient than ever to tell that special someone ‘You’re my lobster.’”
I am not mad about it! This is better than perfume and flowers any day of the week. So, like Beyonce said, go ahead and let your Bae know if they f*** you good, this is what they are gonna get!