On Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Porsha Williams and Dennis McKinley took us into their second therapy session after Dennis was caught cheating on Porsha during her pregnancy. Their session started out fine until things took an unexpected turn when Dennis blamed Porsha’s pregnancy and postpartum depression as his reason for jumping in bed with another woman.
“We had a rough pregnancy, all the way from start to finish,” Dennis explained. “Sex during pregnancy, it’s nothing that a man wants to do … and after PJ got here, postpartum was very real. We cried together like every night. That’s not a good enough why, but that’s the why.”
The 43-year old went on to admit that his actions were a very selfish mistake, telling the therapist, “It was a poor decision and it was a selfish decision. I made a mistake, I cheated. … I’ve done my best to let Porsha know that I love her and I’m remorseful and apologetic. The priority for me is the baby.”
Although he didn’t blatantly blame Porsha for his cheating ways, he indirectly pointed the finger at her pregnancy as his reason for being unfaithful, and as disappointing as his explanation was, this behavior is not that unusual among expectant fathers.
Remember Tristan Thompson’s infidelities during Khloe Kardashian’s pregnancy with baby True? The NBA player was caught on camera multiple times kissing and touching mystery women, all while his very pregnant girlfriend at the time was home in Cleveland preparing to give birth to the couple’s first child together. Whether or not Tristan cheated as a result of Khloe’s pregnancy or just cheated because he’s well… a cheater… still remains unknown to this day, but we all know how that relationship ultimately took a turn for the worse less than a year later.
And then there’s Kevin Hart, who was also caught cheating on his then pregnant wife, Eniko Parrish, just weeks before she gave birth to their adorable son Kenzo. Like Tristan, Kevin’s infidelities were caught on camera as he intimately entertained a mystery woman in Las Vegas back in 2017. The comedian has since publicly apologized to his wife and kids, claiming to have made a “bad error in judgment” at the time and calling the infidelity “a reality check and a gut-punch from God.” Now, the 40-year-old has seemed to straighten up his act and make good on his promise that this won’t be a recurring thing, even explaining the situation to fans in comedy specials, interviews and his upcoming Netflix documentary, “Don’t F*ck This Up”.
When looking at Dennis, Tristan and Kevin as a whole, there’s one thing that their situations all seem to have in common and that is that their infidelities happened during their partner’s most vulnerable and emotional state – pregnancy. That simple fact leads me to ask the question… why are men so trash?
Okay, not all men. But according to psychologist Robert Rodriguez, around 10% of expectant fathers cheat on their partners at some point during pregnancy. Shocker, right? In his book, “What’s Your Pregnant Man Thinking?”, Rodriguez thinks that men have an idea that their “fun lives” will disappear with fatherhood and with the additional responsibility that comes with a new baby, the pressure is just too great.
Alternatively, New York pregnancy and pre-pregnancy therapist, Dr. Shira Danzig believes that the reasons for infidelity are far more sexually motivated than fear motivated as Rodriguez would suggest. “The larger you are, the harder it is to have intercourse,” Dr. Danzig said in an interview, and while some women have a higher sex drive during pregnancy, most men think ‘I don’t want to hurt the baby’ and end up abstaining from sex with their partner altogether. For these reasons, men may sometimes seek sex elsewhere in an effort to not disrupt their relationship with their pregnant (and very emotional) partner.
Whether it’s fear or a high sex drive that causes people to cheat, one thing we can agree on is that infidelity isn’t okay at any stage of a relationship but especially during pregnancy. This brief period of abstinence provides an opportunity for new parents to practice patience or develop forms of intimacy in other ways that are satisfying for both partners. And as for Dennis, Tristan and Kevin, we hope they won’t be repeat offenders if and when their partners get pregnant again for baby number two.