Long-term relationships often mean “’til death do us part.” But what the hell do you do when your sex life dies before the relationship?
For many couples, this is a reality – which is why the experts weighed in on how to keep your bed game popping when years turn into decades and decades turn into half a century.
A 2016 study of heterosexual couples found that they reported sexual satisfaction the first 12 months of their relationship, but there was a steady decline afterwards, Fox News reports.
Sexual empowerment coach and author Amy Jo Goddard it trying to help that sexual lull with her new book, Woman on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual Intelligence.
Goddard explains that after you move past infatuation, instead of freaking out about not having butterflies, you should delve deeper into intimacy.
“You’re simply moving into a new phase of the relationship,” she explains.
That new phase means complete and utter comfort, and according to Goddard, unself-conscious sex is better. Those stretch marks, wrinkles, and cellulite doesn’t matter to someone who truly loves you.
As you get more comfortable, you should definitely let your partner in on your dirtiest fantasies.
“They might be excited about something internally, but have a hard time sharing with their partner,” Goddard says.
Now is the time to let your freak flag fly. He most likely will be excited by the new things you want to try. Like every other part of a relationship, communication is key.
“I don’t know where the idea started that talking about sex ruins it,” Goddard says. “Because it’s truly the number one thing that will open up a relationship in general, and especially with sex.”
Communication in and out of the bedroom is a major key. A lot of foreplay can happen before sex with seductive text messages or shared experiences. Making sexy a life decision is a key to amping up the volume in bed.
“It starts with that core sexual energy and how we choose to direct it and use it,” she advises. “We feel more alive, we’re more productive, we have more energy, and we feel healthier. I’ve watched it in so many people in my career. When you wake that part up, you wake up other amazing things.”
Ultimately, it comes down to both of you connecting with yourselves and your own life in a new way, in order to connect with each other. That kind of love can keep your sex life powerful for years to come.
PHOTO CREDIT: Getty