Scrolling through Facebook and Instagram used to be fun…until every other post became a status update from that annoying high school friend, whose boyfriend subscribes to the Chris Brown school of dating. Or, that co-worker who thinks changing their relationship status after every breakup is mandatory.
Celebs aren’t exempt from the foolery either. Just yesterday, Fantasia posted a cryptic photo of her engagement ring set on Instagram alluding to her “divorce” from Kendall Taylor (who she began dating back in September). While we understand the temptation of posting such private moments online (not really, we’re just being nice), we have a few tips for the oversharers of the world.
1. Chances Are, You’re Going To Get Back Together…
If you’re like the rest of us, breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend is a pretty common occurrence in your relationship. He or she does something to completely piss you off and you vow to never deal with their selfish a** again. Then, they apologize (because that’s all you ever really wanted in the first place) and just like that, you’re back to getting on each other’s nerves. Good thing you didn’t delete every picture of them off your social media page and write an emotional status that detailed your breakup. *Wipes forehead* Oh you did? No worries, we’ve been there. Lesson learned.
2. THOTS May Try To Steal Bae
Let’s say your relationship is one of those perfect ones and your man or woman does romantic stuff like send you roses at work, or give you fellatio just because it’s Wednesday… While some would never break up a happy home, there’s a THOT or Drake right around the corner just waiting to swoop down and steal your knight/princess in shining armor. Call us paranoid, but when it comes to Bae, no one can be trusted.
3. Bae Is Fine & Floosies Try Your Patience
Do you catch yourself getting lost in your man’s smile or thinking about his 6-pack while doing random activities like making copies at the printer at work? Do you look at him and think “Damn he’s so fine?” If your answer was “Yes” to any of the above questions, you should probably refrain from posting his pictures on your social media pages. Maybe one or two, to let the world know he’s yours, but you definitely don’t want to give lurkers extra ammunition to leave thirsty comments or (even more conniving) incentive to friend request him behind your back.
4. Engaged Then Unengaged
We get it. You’re excited. You’re man, who you put five years of your life into, just asked you to marry him in the most over-the-top way and you want the world to know. You’ve uploaded the quintessential ring pics and changed your relationship status. Suddenly, Bae decides to show out and you reconsider walking down the aisle with such a jerk. You question how you ever loved him in the first place. Sigh. The horror. Nothing is more embarrassing than having to explain why there are no wedding pictures on your timeline and why you’ve gone back to “It’s complicated.”
5. No One Actually Cares (This Is Us Throwing A Table At You) “O-M-G, look how happy Sonya and her boyfriend are. They just posted their 10th vacation picture from that really expensive vacation home in Aruba I so desperately wanted to go to but couldn’t afford,” says no one ever! Spare us the details. We have enough of our own relationship sh*t going on and could care less about your happiness or drama…unless you’re actually going through something crazy and then we’re secretly judging you, in which case that’s bad too.
If you don’t yet get the point, just keep your sh*t off social media.