New year, new you, right? The start of a new year often brings high hopes for many–whether it’s working out, eating healthy, answering emails, getting organized or being a better communicator, we all have something in common–we want to improve. One thing that’s on many improvement lists is love. Whether we’ve been unlucky in love or have suffered through bad relationships, the new year allows singles to feel hopeful about finding love or even a life partner.
If you have suffered from relationship failures in the past, it’s time to make some simple changes before you can find your soulmate or at least someone you can love unconditionally. Now is the time. We tapped clinical hypnotherapist (who works with many single men and women and couples), Colin Christopher to give us foolproof pointers on how to stop complaining and find love this year. This is our year, we feel it! It could be yours too beauties! Here’s eight very helpful and possibly uncomfortable tips to help you be different and find true love:
1. Start with yourself.
Write down all the good qualities you have as a mate and all your bad qualities. Pick one good quality you want to improve that makes you even more attractive to potential mates and pick one negative quality you can reduce or eliminate that will make you more attractive. You get what you attract.
2. Get off of internet dating.
Relationship sites claim that one in five relationships start online. That means four in five start offline. Follow the odds and get out there. Expanding your social circle will increase your chances of finding that special person.
3. Clean up your living space.
Prepare your space with the intent that you’re getting it ready to entertain a potential partner. This preparation and intent conditions your subconscious to be ready for a potential partner. If your space is dirty and cluttered, it conditions your mind to think that your space is not ready for someone and gives you an excuse not to meet potentials.
4. Get rid of things that remind you of your ex.
If you really want to keep mementos, put them in a shoebox and tuck it away in a closet out of sight and out of mind. If reminders of your ex are around, they constantly trigger your mind to think about your ex and shift your focus away from meeting someone new, exciting and wonderful. Your ex is an ex for a reason.
5. Forgive yourself for being single.
Being hard on yourself manipulates you into feeling despair. Forgiving yourself creates feelings of hope for the future and eventually feelings of gratitude and happiness. Those positive feelings are far more attractive to potential partners than the negative ones, so be kind to yourself.
6. Know the qualities you really want in a potential partner.
There are always things you liked and disliked about your previous partner(s). Make a list of the things you want and stick to it. If you’re not clear and you waver in your desires, you may end up settling or compromising for a partner just for the sake of being in a relationship instead of being in a relationship with the right person.
7. Spend time with successful couples and watch how they interact.
Take note of how they respond to one another, how they know what the other person is thinking before he or she even says it, how everything flows seamlessly. That doesn’t happen overnight, but it happens when two people are truly meant for each other. Also pay attention to how the best couples resolve their differences. Standing back and observing is an eye-opening experience.
The most important thing you can do when meeting a potential new partner is listen. Most people love to talk, but few are really great listeners. When you pay close attention, it’s amazing how much you can learn about someone. The best mates are usually the best listeners.