I wasn’t old enough yet to know that “Dirty Dancing” wasn’t as dirty as the title made it seem. I was a curious kid, scouring the cable at my grandmother’s house for R-Rated movies, or anything that looked like it would have sexual activity in it, without ordering anything from the Playboy channel. I wasn’t even born when Jennifer Grey leaped into Patrick Swayze’s toned arms. Luckily for me, technology has made it so that youngsters like myself can appreciate an old movie or two without loading up the historical VHS. Anyway, I got more than I bargained for with “Dirty Dancing.” It introduced me to…grinding.

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I was in Jr. High School when I first felt the pressure of a man’s pelvis behind my backside. Patrick Swayze wasn’t getting down like we were. That leads me to my next point…if the leading lady in “Dirty Dancing” was black? How would the film have played out?

“Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner”

Johnny Castle stormed into the reception hall with a look of intent in his eyes. Shuffling through the crowd of women in fluffy dresses and men in corsages, he found the woman for which he was searching. He grabbed her hand, interrupting her conversation.

“Are you crazy?!”

She snapped.

“I’m talking!”

Johnny is taken aback by her anger. He glances at the older man sitting beside her. It is her father, who has made it very clear that he should stay away from his youngest daughter.

“Who let him in?

From the corner of his eye, Johnny’s notices a group of men rise from their seats. He sensed the danger and got the hell out of dodge!

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Practice Makes Perfect–

Johnny places his arms around Baby.

“Follow my lead”

He commands, slowly rolls his hips to the beats of Bruce Channel. Baby doesn’t move.

“What’s wrong?” Johnny inquires, smoothing displaced hair behind his ear.

“This ain’t my song”

“Well what would you like to dance to?”

Baby smiles, reaches into her bag and pops a cassette into the player.

Girl you working with an a** yeah, you bad yeah!

“Juvey goes hard in the club!”

The Final Dance Scene–

Baby’s blood races through her veins. It’s showtime. The curtain disappears and Baby pops her booty as hard as she can. Johnny jumps behind her, pokes out his groin and waits for her to bounce her plump bottom on him. Baby’s black friend yells “Heyyy.” A circle forms around the grooving couple. Baby pops into a split. Only the black audience members are still following.

“Soul Train Line” One person yells.

“The Electric Slide” screams another. The music stops and all eyes are on Baby.

“Step In The Name Of Love?” she says. There’s an awkward silence. Each person gazes upon their neighbor.

“Hey!”

The party continues with the sounds of R.Kelly serenading the background.

The End

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