We all know that being liked by your boyfriend’s friends is a plus. What better security is there than knowing that his friends aren’t actively trying to change his mind about you? One of my friends is so used to being invited to her boyfriend’s “guys’ nights”. Whether it’s getting wings at the local dive bar or being rowdy and watching the game on someone’s couch, she’s always been a “guys’ girl”.
The guy that she recently started dating, however, likes to separate his “guy time” and “girlfriend time”. BUT, this doesn’t mean that she needs to kick him to the curb and find a more romantic guy. We talked and tried to figure out what the right amount of “bro-mance” time versus “romance” time is.
The first thing I did was explain to her the importance of “bro-mances” to men. Just because they’re spending time with their guys does not mean that they are going to break up with you. There’s no need to constantly call and text him asking about his plans. Having time to “bro out” can actually be extremely healthy for relationships. You have more to talk about, and let’s be real- you’d rather him be hanging out with his best guy friends than getting drinks with the new lady at work.
But how much “bro-mance” is too much? When he is choosing to play poker with the guys 5 days out of the week, it’s time to step in and ask for a little more “loving time”. If you can squeeze yourself into a game of black jack with him and the guys, that’s great! But don’t go dealing cards where they don’t belong. You don’t want to start showing up everywhere and have his guys get annoyed of you. When my friend showed up at one of the guys’ golf games, she felt completely out of place and definitely heard the snide comments: “uhh dude, what’s she doing here?”
Most importantly, keep in mind what his “bro-mance” time can mean for you. Use this time to pamper yourself or plan a girls’ night out. Just because he wants to hang out with the guys on Friday night doesn’t mean that you need to stay in by yourself. The most healthy relationships have a balance between romantic time and friend time.
What are your thoughts on “bro-mances”? How do you stay in a healthy relationship while still giving him room to breathe? How much room is too much room? Fill us in!