Yo Kareem –
My girl doesn’t really turn me on anymore, cuz she doesn’t take care of herself like she used to. We have been together for 4 years and now that we’re engaged, she has gotten sloppy and fat. We don’t have kids and she has gained at least 25 lbs since when I met her. Now I find myself thinking about other chicks all the time, and am really tempted to get some of that forbidden fruit. Is it cheating for me to be thinking about other chicks?
Brother, if you are preoccupied with other women and obsessing over being with them, you are going to cheat. No two ways around it. You may also be feeling anxiety over the fact that you two are about to tie the knot, which is common for most newly engaged men.
If you are really in love with this woman and want to be with her as husband and wife, you need to address this issue. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure and divorce court. I think you need to keep it real with her. Take her to dinner (well, maybe not dinner…) and tell her what is on your mind. Tell her that you are concerned with the weight gain and with the lack of upkeep. She will most likely cry and throw a tantrum. Then make suggestions on how both of you can solve the problem. Join a gym together, take martial arts together, or train for a half-marathon. You should also go shopping with her and pick out outfits that you would like to see her in. Check out the latest issue of GIANT magazine for some style tips.
Those activities will make your bond tighter and enhance your relationship for the long run.
Please note: I am writing this assuming that Mr. Uninterested has his shit together. If not, he has some serious nerve and needs to re-evaluate himself before he stresses his woman on her look.
Got a question for Kareem? Email him at Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com and check back to see if YOUR problem as been solved!