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Dear Gay Best Friend,
I have a little problem. I have a male roommate and we were just friends when I first moved in. After a couple of months and a few conversations we found out that we were sexually attracted to each other.
I can be completely honest to say that I wasn’t expecting things to go down the way they did, but it happened. We had several sexual encounters and a pregnancy scare, and we both decided to call off all sexual deeds. A couple of months have passed since my roomie and I had intercourse. Now the conversation has gone from not wanting to be involved with me to wanting to marry his ex of two years. So, after hearing this, I moved on and started see another guy. My roommate found a condom wrapper on my floor and got extremely mad. He felt like I disrespected him and I don’t feel like I did.
So, now we have no communication and the house is not the same. We stay in our rooms and don’t speak at all. Please help me find a way to bring the peace back in the house. – A Stranger In My House
Dear A Stranger In My House,
Girl, as soon as I read the first line saying, “I have a male roommate,” I immediately knew it had something to do with sex. But I digress.
But, after reading further, WOW! What a tangled web you two have weaved. That is pure insanity. First of all I don’t think a man and woman can or should live together. That is a disaster waiting to happen. The sexual tension will be too much, especially with a woman walking around in her nightgown, panties and bra, or coming out of the shower in a towel. And, the man will be walking around in his boxers, no shirt, and many morning erections. Hell, all day erections that men experience on the daily. Yeah, he is going to try something, and that night when she is feeling a little freakish, or horny, she will invite him into her room for a little taste. SMDH!
Second, Ms. Thang, I think you’re careless and definitely need to watch your sexual partners. You slept with your roommate after a couple of months of moving in, and you didn’t use protection because you said there was a pregnancy scare. Uhm, do you know his sexual history or past? Hell, does he know yours? HELLS NAW! I said, HELLS NAW! (In my Sophia from The Color Purple voice). But the tee-hee-hee-hee-hee, is that after the two of you decided it wasn’t working, he told you he was moving on, and your hot in the pants behind jumped in the bed with another dude, but used a condom. That is straight nasty and trifling. Ugh! I don’t think Massengill has anything to clean that up.
And, did you tell the new dude that you used to sleep with your roommate before you brought him up in the house? I think I know the answer to that so why am I even bothering asking.
Third, I think he got jealous because you brought another man up in his house, and was banging dude while he was there. Now that is some BAWSE ish! Girl, you may be dirty, but that was straight gutter mess right there. I mean who does that? You were humping on your roommate just a few weeks ago, and when that ended you brought another dude up in the house and started humping him. Girl, miss me on count day.
So, Ms. A Stranger In My House, it’s time that you find your own spot. And, I mean live alone. No male or female roommates for you. The things you like to do, I feel it’s best you live alone. Also, there is no repairing the relationship with your roommate. He’s hurt, and it appears you’re over it, but want to maintain civility. Well, living with you hath no fury like a man scorned. I really think he probably didn’t want the sex to end, and wanted to start having sex with you again, but his ego and pride wouldn’t let him even approach you. I feel that he really liked you, as well as the sex, and if given the opportunity he would definitely be back in your bedroom. So, if you’re not down with that program, because it appears you’re on some ole freak nastiness, then move out. Severe ties with him because the damage has been done. The relationship with your roommate will never be the same. It can never go back to the way it used to be. Sorry, but you and he both screwed that up, literally and figuratively, with your low-down trifling selves. So, I recommend you take the time to check out how many months are left on your lease and start planning your exit. If you can talk to him about breaking the lease, and get him to sign something saying he agrees to let you off the lease, then that would be even better. The sooner you move out, the better. There is no need to be living in a house, better yet, living in your room and can’t enjoy it. And, Ms. Hot Toddy, I definitely suggest you slow down on the jumping from bed to bed with various men. This ain’t hopscotch for adults. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
Make sure to get your copy of my new book, STRAIGHT FROM YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND – The Straight Up Truth About Relationships, Work, and Having A Fabulous Life (Agate/Bolden – October 2010; $15). It is available in bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon, HERE!