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Dear Kareem,

I met this guy on street about three weeks ago. We have been talking on the phone and via text almost everyday since then. Our convo and chemistry have been great. Last Friday we went on our first real date since meeting a few weeks ago. The date was great! He brought me flowers and was very romantic. The evening was so perfect that we had sex at the end of the night. The sex was amazing. I almost cried! When we woke up, I made him breakfast. We talked for about an hour then he went home.

It’s been a week and I have not heard from him yet. We have texted one another a few times but no conversation. A friend of mine says that we had sex too soon and now he thinks I’m a slut. What do you think? Did we move too fast?

Kareem Says:

Moving too fast totally depends on what type of guy he is. All men differ in their gauging of what a slut is. Here are a couple examples:

1) Some men judge women by the time it takes to sleep with them. You two talked over the phone for a while, but you slept with him on the first night that you hung out. This may not sit well with him. Men like a little challenge and intrigue. Giving up the cookies on day one generally nixes that.

2) Some men also judge a woman by what transpired during the sex. Like if he came on your face, or if he got in all 3 holes on the first night – he may deem you a slut/whore. Again, it depends on him.

I always tell women that they lose their biggest bargaining chip when they have sex with a man. Because ultimately, that is our biggest driver. Someone once told me that “Women give sex for love, and men give love for sex.” I think that is so true.

Don’t spend too much time or energy on what he thinks of you. Take this as a lesson learned. No matter how it turns out.

-Kareem J.

Need male advice? Kareem will tell it to you straight. Email your questions to Kareem.JenkinsNYC@gmail.com.

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