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I was inspired by my good friend The Fiance’s most recent post to write this. In said post, he talked about coming to terms with the fact that once you get married — assuming you’re faithful — you’ll never get to experience that feeling of what Chris Rock described so perfectly as “new pussy,” or, in cleaner terms, the “80/20” rule.

While that is most definitely true and something that every husband comes to terms with, does being married also mean you’re dead to the world in the eyes of single women everywhere? Is that wedding band on your finger the equivalent to a cloak of invisibility that no single girl can penetrate? I hope not.

Before this gets all “why did you get married then?” let me be very clear. The one woman that I have is more than enough for me, but that doesn’t mean it’s not nice to be wanted. The male ego needs to be stroked every so often… and sometimes by a different hand. You just want to know you still have it if, God forbid, your wife is suddenly mauled by a one-legged bear on camping trip. It just feels good.

So ladies, the next time you see that married guy walking down the street, give him a wink. Or, better yet, if you’re at TGI Friday’s and you see someone’s husband sitting at the bar watching, say, I don’t know, Monday Night Football with his friends, send him an Ultimate Long Island Tea. Consider it a public service. He would really appreciate it.

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