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You should have seen this woman… She was perfect. PERFECT! I can’t write ‘perfect’ enough times. Maybe I should switch to ‘flawless.’ Pretty, curly hair (black man’s weakness), both boom and bap and she had the nerve to be smart –like MENSA smart. In the span of two seconds, I saw our life together and it was beautiful. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. And in spite of being engaged to a real life woman who is just about perfect, there is a small part of me that still seeks out truly perfect.

Did you see the movie Why Did I Get Married? I reference it to people a lot. In it, one of the male characters references the “80/20” rule which basically amounts to the idea that we can have a great person in our lives, and that person can be 80 percent or more of what we’re looking for. Some part of us, though, wants the other 20 percent, and we find ourselves looking for it. I think it’s true. We always think the grass is greener. It usually isn’t, but that doesn’t keep us from trying.

A couple of years ago, when my fiancee thought my behavior was particularly bad, she found herself thinking about the other 20 percent. While working at the hospital, she saw some guy from the gym who had wanted to take her to breakfast before we met. In her mind, this moment could have been divine intervention, but… Not so fast. Mr. Intervention had been there to witness the birth of the new addition to his already well-established family. He had just wanted her to be another notch he’d add to his gym belt.

The reality is that 80 percent is pretty darn good. We don’t complain too much when the government takes 20 percent of our income. It’s sort of the same thing. In the beginning, we find someone who we think is absolutely great. They’re 100 percent, but then we have to pay our federal taxes – and they become 80 percent. The great thing is that with time, people can get closer to perfect as they learn you better.

As far as I’m concerned, we should just be glad we don’t have to pay state tax, social security and FICA on them. 63.2 percent, just like with my check, would be a hard pill to swallow.

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