Tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta is super ridiculous. Like, more so than usual and not in a trainwreck you can’t pull away from kind of way, more like in a, reclaim my wine time after watching that kind of way.
The entire episode builds upon Nene’s concept of elephants in the room that they all need to address but ends on a frustrating, anticlimactic note. This idea starts during a meet up with Kim and Sheree. They’re having dinner and Nene is supposed to come as well so that she and Kim can get their beef situation situated. When Nene stands them up, Sheree calls her to see what’s going on and Nene says there are too many elephants in the room with Kim and Sheree for her to entertain this over a dinner setting. Sheree is taken aback because she’s not even sure why Nene would be upset with her. Speaking of being upset, before the Nene conversation, the topic of conversation turned toward how the rest of the girls don’t really mess with Porsha like that. Kim says she likes Porsha despite what she did. Then, out of nowhere, she claims that she knows some things about Kandi and alleges that Kandi has threesomes with her husband, that something isn’t right with anyone who would share their man and then she claims to have turned down Kandi’s offer to “lick her box.”
The general consensus on social media (and definitely from Kandi) is that Kim is lying.
I’m sick of these bitches lying on me. @KimZolciak I have NEVER wanted you or your box. And stop swearing on your kids while you’re telling lies. Lying ass bitch. Somebody’s really reaching for a permanent peach here… This is my house. You’re just a visitor!
— Kandi Burruss (@Kandi) January 15, 2018
— ESSENCE (@Essence) January 15, 2018
It’s not hard to believe given how open Kandi is about her sexual escapades and the fact that Kim doesn’t even seem like she’d be Kandi’s type anyway.
Interestingly enough, this hasn’t come up yet, but you know it will. This is just #tewmessy.
Now we get to the crux of the episode. Nene calls on a ratchet psychic medium named Mbele to meet with the group to try and clear the bad energy (aka everyone’s elephants). Y’all, Mbele is the shadiest, stankest energy reader you have ever seen.
She’s giving us all ratchet Ms. Cleo vibes.
Everyone surprisingly comes through for this, including Kim and Porsha, who no one is really happy to see, and it’s immediately awkward. Mbele goes around telling people random things, some of it makes sense, but none of it is groundbreaking. She tells Kandi that she could actually be a medium if she taps into it because she does tend to have clairvoyant tendencies. Kandi says that another medium actually told her this before. Mbele says Nene has a heart of gold and that she’s actually a sweetheart and doesn’t care what people think about her.
Then Mbele says that Cynthia needs to protect herself and listen to the people around her (basically, Will might be an opportunist). She tells Kenya that she won’t be there much longer, not that she’s going to drop dead but that she has a different destiny. This speaks to the rumors that Kenya will not be returning next season and that she’s pregnant. These things have neither been confirmed nor denied. Porsha tells Mbele to skip over her. Kim doesn’t want a reading, and she’s stank about it as she tells Mbele that she has a nasty attitude. Mbele tells her that she gets what she gives. Then Mbele tries to read Kenya, but Kim keeps loud whispering about how she has been read by the Long Island Medium (Theresa Caputo), and Tyler Henry. Kenya tells Kim to knock it off because she’s tired of her mouth. Surprisingly, this doesn’t become a major blow-up between them. Mbele asks Kim if she can wash her off with a spiritual bath. Kim isn’t with it. Mbele leaves, presumably to cleanse the stank energy, but she doesn’t return.
That leaves the women to talk about the elephants. Kandi begins the discussion and it starts between Nene and Porsha. Porsha says Nene always just wants to be right.
Same ol’ same ol’. Nene is sitting there looking like:
Then Sheree wants to know what Nene’s issue is with her. Nene says she doesn’t have an issue with her in the snippiest way possible, but Sheree thinks that the fact that she has a #prisonbae that has Nene feeling salty and mentions this. Nene gets defensive but also passive-aggressively insults Sheree about her #prisonbae and it seems like in some weird way Nene is actually concerned about this man using Sheree. Meanwhile, Kim keeps popping off under her breath and calls Nene a hater to Sheree. Kenya asks what all the slick talking is. Kim says she doesn’t want to be part of this conversation but isn’t slick talking when people can hear you, part of the convo?
Kenya gets called upon to said what she had to say about her elephants with Kim and nothing gets resolved. This is all a waste of time. The energy is still off and narcissists gon’ narcissist.
Everyone leaves except for Nene and Kim. They attempt to talk about their elephants. Kim says that Nene has been off lately and makes a passive aggressive comment pondering about whether Nene may have been popping pills. Nene denies this and again, this another circular discussion that goes nowhere. What. A. Waste.
Reclaim your wine and prepare for next week’s shenanigans.