Lamar Odom is coming clean about what it was like to wake up from his coma and see his ex-wife watching over him.
Lamar shared his account first hand in an open letter to The Players’ Tribune, revealing how terrified he was during the first few moments of consciousness after his four-day coma.
“When I woke up in the hospital room in Nevada, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk. I was trapped inside my own body. My throat hurt like hell. I looked down and I had all these tubes coming out of my mouth” he opened. “So I panicked.”
The pro-baller recalled that he immediately tried to pull out all of the tubes, but he was too weak to do it. He was too weak to do anything. All he could do was watch as doctors continued to buzz around him in the aftermath of his overdose.
However, Khloe Kardashian‘s presence seemed to signal to him just how grave the situation really was. “My ex-wife was there in the room with me. After all the sh*t I had done, I was surprised to see her. Honestly, that’s when I knew that I was probably in bad shape,” he admitted.
“I was doing coke every day,” he added. Pretty much every second of free time that I had, I was doing coke. I couldn’t control it. I didn’t want to control it.”
He continued, “It’s a hell of a drug. It will make you do things you never thought you’d do. It will turn you into a different person. It will put you in situations where you say to yourself, ‘How the f–k did I get here?’”
But, Lamar is very clear on how he wound up passed out and unresponsive on the floor of a brothel. In fact, he recalls that it was much the same pattern of behavior that led Khloe to see him getting high while they were still married.
“One of the darkest places I’ve ever been was when I was in a motel room, getting high with this chick, and my wife (at the time) walked in,” he recounted. “That probably was like rock bottom.”
Lamar recalls knowing that he was doing was wrong at the time, and he doesn’t make any excuses for his behavior.
“I’m a millionaire. I’d made it out of Jamaica, Queens, and won two NBA titles. And I’m in a motel, with some random person, doing coke. But I just wanted to get high with this girl, and I had no other place to go. I couldn’t take her home,” he explained. “You know, I was being a scumbag. Nothing else I got for that. No excuses. No bullshit. That’s just the truth.
He concluded, “My d-ck and my habit took me down all the roads that you don’t ever wanna go down.”