Chrissy Lampkin arrives at our office looking surprising casual. She’s stunning–flawlessly made up, hair laid–but she’s wearing a gray sweater and jeans with gold UGG ankle boots. I’ve seen more than my fair share of reality TV divas waltz through these doors and trust me, they don’t come in like this. Beside her is her man Jimmy–or Mr. Jones to you. He’s slouched down on the couch appearing either high, half asleep, or both. Upon asking them to split up for solo interviews (as well as their scheduled joint interview) he snaps, “I’m not doing two interviews, I’m doing one with her, call me a snob or whatever, I’m not doing it.” Chrissy looks mortified, later she apologizes on his behalf. While he awaits her downstairs in the car, she graciously agrees to sit down with me for a chat. Afterwards, I think I kind of get her…kind of.
Why won’t you leave him?
I think that question is obvious, I love him–that’s my other half?
Do you belive that love is enough?
Love isn’t enough, but that’s a big part of it.
What is enough?
There has to be respect, there has to be a good timing, there has to be a good relationship with God. A relationship has a lot of layers to it…
You seem very clear now that you’re not ready to get married, but two years you proposed to him–
–It wasn’t, I wasn’t proposing for a wedding in a week, that proposal was about movement; it was about evolution; it was about a commitment to a plan. We couldn’t keep doing the same thing we were doing everyday. It was becoming routine, so let’s shake things up and try to move forward–sometimes people get complacent and stuck.
Does the wedding have to happen?
I would like to see it happen and I think it will happen, I know it’s something that we both want, but we want to do it right, and we want to do it once.
Why is it something that you want?
Because it’s a vow, it’s a union, it’s a commitment–it’s supposed to be your life partner.
Does he make you a better you?
[Laughs] He’s taught me a lesson in patience and understanding, so yeah, he has.
Was it always important to you to become a mom?
I don’t know if was important, but it was something I would like to do, and something that I would like to share with him. I don’t know believe that completes women, I think it’s a matter of choice.
10 years ago, did you want become a mother?
Absolutely not, I’m scared I’m not ready now–10 years ago, definitely not.
How has being with Jim influenced your desire for your own career?
It’s about me–it’s about focusing on me, if a career comes by they way of that, then that’s what’s going to happen. But you know I’ve been in a relationship for a long time, and I’ve kind of catered to what it needed instead of what I needed so now I’m starting to think about myself a little more and I don’t think that makes me selfish, I think that makes me well-rounded.
This sounds like a new shift–
It is, most definitely.
So focusing on you–what comes with that?
Him realizing that I can take care of myself–like I can really really take care of myself, and it’s causing him to want to do the things that I’ve complained about–the things that I think should be second nature to a man in a relationship–he’s starting to pay attention to those things.
Had you lost some of yourself?
Absolutely, I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, of course, of course I got caught up in being his woman and what he needed, and making him feel comfortable. Stroke his ego, build up his confidence–you definitely can lose sight of who you are and sometimes you help them lose sight of who you are too…
Give me more…
There’s nothing more to give–that’s what happens, men forget because you allow them to forget who and why you’re there. You teach people how to treat you.
What would have to happen for you to walk away from this relationship?
I don’t know and I don’t want to find out because it would have to be really crazy. I guess if we fall out of love–I don’t know what it would take–I’m not trying to think about what it would take either.
Check Out Our Exclusive Interview With Chrissy & Jim Below, a parody of Mr. & Mrs. Smith: