I’m a thirty-five year old successful black man and I’ve never done this before. My sister reads your posts all the time on HelloBeautiful and she told me you would be the best person to come to for help. See I’ve been divorced for about two years. I cheated on my wife with her best friend and thought I was in love with the friend. I was so sure that I asked my wife for a divorce although she wanted to work it out.
Three months later I married her friend thinking this was where I was supposed to be but I was wrong. She got pregnant and it turned out that it wasn’t even my baby. Yes it was some, “You are not the father type bulls**t.” I’ve never been done so dirty in my life. By the way my stepfather turned out to be the father. Anyway I ran into my ex wife about six months ago and we started hanging out again. We have this amazing friendship that somehow I missed out on when we were married.
Recently I’ve come to realize I still love her and I want her back. I know I messed up, but a brothas willing to beg like a fat man at KFC with no wallet. To make matters worse she told me that at the time all our divorce drama was going on she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I feel like s**t now. I know she feels something for me but I can tell she’s still hurting. She’s in remission now but she’s so fragile and I don’t wanna force my feelings on her.
I know we belong together I just need her to trust me again. What do I do man? What do I do? I’VE BEEN A DAMN FOOL
Dear Mr. I’ve Been A Damn Fool
(@ @) Wide-eyed blank stare at you!
Are you serious right now? I mean, really? You can’t possibly be writing me thinking your wife is going to take you back. If your wife is even remotely considering taking you back she would be the DAMN FOOL!
The hell is wrong with your silly trifling no-good need your nuts clipped bull-ish are you on? You cheated on your wife with her best friend, then turned around and married the trick – (You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife). Your wife wanted to work things out, but you were so caught up on the ill na-na, because that was some community p***y. She gets pregnant and come to find out it’s not your child but your stepfather’s. And, you have the gall and audacity to say, “I’ve never been done so dirty in my life.” I can’t believe you wrote that line with any ounce of sanity!! HOW DARE YOU!?!?! I wish I could grip you in a headlock and strangle your ass to stop the air from getting to the rest of your small ass brain.
HELLO! As dirty as you did your wife the karma that has bit you on the ass is only a small sampling of what’s to come.
Then you wrote, “We have this amazing friendship that somehow I missed out on when we were married.” Chile, SMDH! Let me ask you this, do friends do what you did to your wife? Do friends betray, deceive, and manipulate one another? You are clearly delusional if you think you and your wife are friends. I’m certain she would say something different in regards to your relationship. I’m sure your wife is singing Beyonce’s song, “Thank God you blew it. Thank God I dodged a bullet….You turned out to be the best thing I never had.” She is all the better without you. Trust and believe if she is thinking of taking you back it is only to get revenge. But, because the spiritual goodness in her heart will not allow her to do so, she is smiling in your face and hopefully forgiven you for what you did to her, and she is reveling in this moment of, “See, I knew your no-good ass would come running back to me. You missed out on this good thing and didn’t realize how good you had it. So, now you’ve come crawling back wanting to get back with me.” No sir. It ain’t happening. Not going to happen.
And, Mr. Ass-Hole Of The Year, before you cheated on your wife did you think about how much you belonged together while you were laying up with her best friend? Before you asked your wife for a divorce did you think how you may be hurting your wife by sleeping with her best friend? And, before you married your wife’s best friend did you give any consideration into how wrong and trifling it was, and how your wife was probably emotionally and mentally damaged and betrayed by two people she loved? Naw, you didn’t think about any of that. You were so wrapped up in yourself, your needs, your selfish desires, and what your d**k wanted that you betrayed your wife. You stole her trust. You destroyed her dreams. You crushed her spirit. And, you’re asking me how can you get her back and gain back her trust? WOW! I truly think you are touched in the head, and I mean both of them.
Let me ask you this and I want you to be really honest with yourself – If the shoe was on the other foot and your wife cheated on you with your best friend, then came to you and asked for a divorce, and three months later she married your best friend, but it didn’t work out between them, and she came back to you asking you to take her back, would you take her back? Would you get back into a relationship with her? Would you remarry her? If your answer is “no,” then why the hell would you think your wife would consider the possibilty of getting back with you? I truly believe with all my might, all my spirit, and all my being that many of you have the slow degenerate gene in you. Something happened to damage your emotional and mental growth. And, the bull-ish you all do and put yourselves in truly is a result of the stumped growth in your development into adults.
By the way, since you were sharing community p***y, have you been tested for any diseases? Have you gone through a spiritual cleanse to remove her spirit from yours? Have you sought spiritual counseling to reprieve of your soul and get right with yourself? Have you apologzied to your ex-wife for what you did to her? Have you asked for authentic and true forgiveness for the damage you caused her?
Instead of trying to jump back into a relationship with your ex-wife, how about you get into a relationship with yourself. How about you understand who you are, and why you did what you did. How about you work on getting yourself together emotionally, mentally, and physically. And, if you truly want to be a friend to your ex-wife, just be supportive of her and her recovery during the remission of her cancer. An intimate relationship should be the last thing on your mind. What she needs more from you is an apology, asking her forgiveness, and letting her know that you are there if she needs you for support. She’s dealing with a lot and as you’ve stated, her emotional, mental, and physical being are fragile. She doesn’t need any stress. She doesn’t need to be worrying, or returning to an emotional roller coaster you took her on. You should simply let her know that you’re available for her, and allow her to reach out to you if she wants or needs you for anything. And, simply just be an ear for her. – Straight From Your Gay Best Friend
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