It’s 2011, Chivalry might not be all the way dead, but it sure is making room for SHE-valry.
Women can take control in the work place, in the bedroom and even with family finances. But when it comes to actually approaching a man, some women are still hesitant about breaking the protocol of ‘boy chases girl’.
Let’s set the scene: You’re out with your girls. A guy catches your eye, but he’s not making a move. You, like so many woman do, size him up and just know even before an introduction, that you two would hit it off. But he’s still not making a move. Do you dare go in for the kill? Or do you leave always wondering ‘what if?’
Sure we all have that fear of rejection, embarassing ouselves or even the concern about approaching a serial killer. Every time a guy approaches us, the same fears go through his mind. But they still overcome them and take the risk. Let’s not let them have all of the fun!
8 Ways To Approach A Guy:
Eye Contact: Make eye contact for a few seconds and sweetly look away. If you look back a few moments later and he’s still looking at you, stay locked on his eyes for as long as possible. Give him a little smirk and look away again. The third time you catch eyes should tell you everything you need to know if you should go in for the kill. If he smiles in the third stare consider him fair game. Casually work your way over to his side of the venue, if he doesn’t approach you first, feel free to introduce yourself.
Need His Help: Casually approach him and ask where the bathroom is. If he’s in line at the bar, pass him cash and ask him to order you a drink to minimize wait time. Ask him if a seat is taken so you can pull an extra chair to your table. If he’s tall, ask him to scan the crowed for your friend in the red sweater, playfully complain you’re just too short to look yourself… You get the picture. Guys like to be needed.
Complement Him: “Excuse me, I just wanted to tell you that’s a nice jacket.” Compliment him, and once he says ‘thank you’, walk away and go on about your night. Trust me, he’ll find you eventually because he won’t be able to get the ‘woman who approached him but didn’t go in for the kill,’ out of his mind.
Buy Him A Drink: This may be a little forward and is only recommended for the bold and fearless. He’ll never turn a drink down, but you do run the risk of looking desperate unless this act is done perfect to a ‘T’. Sure you can go the movie scene route – have the bar tender pass him a drink on the other side of the bar and say, “It’s from the lady over there.” Or, you can wait until his glass is low, approach with a flirty line such as, “I can’t decide what to get, what are you drinking?” Once he tells you take it upon yourself to order 2 of what he’s having. If you really aren’t interested in his drink, tell him you’re looking for something a little more fruity/sour/stronger and let him make a suggestion for you. Like I said, guys like to feel needed. Remember, If you decide to go with the buy-him-a-drink move, be sure you’re not showing desperate, over-confident or alcoholic.
Use Your Wing Wo-Man: Women travel in packs and within those packs, there’s an unwritten rule that when you plan to step out with the girls, everyone is expected to be emotionally equipped to be the wing-woman if needed. If he’s got friends, take your designated wing-woman and introduce her to his friend as if you’re the confident matchmaker helping out your shy friend. She’ll already know to engage in conversation setting her fears and pride aside as you and your target chat it up and break the ice on the side. Who knows, she might get a number out of the deal too.
Remember Him From Somewhere: Catch his eye a few times while you’re looking a tad confused. He’ll be confused for a moment but don’t let it last too long. Approach him and swear up and down that you’ve met him somewhere but you just can’t place your finger on it. Without getting stalkerish or nosey, ask him a couple of leading questions, ‘Where does he work’, ‘Has he ever been to a particular place before’. If he answers, consider the ice broken.
“Hi, My Name Is”: Of course there is always the old-fashioned, introducing yourself. Walking up to him and just starting with a handshake and your name. This is the boldest move of them all, no games, no wing-women, no fabricated conversation starters. It may be the scariest approach to take, but it will be undoubtedly the most memorable one.
Have you moved into the period of SHE-valry? What’s the best way you know to approach a guy?