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Many people from the BP community share a common dislike for the “new” trend called planking. A host of celebs have taken a following to this craze, countless celeb planking pics have turned up in the social media. Always on a quest for positivity, I try not to hate anything, but I am human and my foolery level only runs so high, so if I hate anything in the world, it has to be planking. Oh, how I wish I could just send this unknown trend back to west bumble-flip or wherever the heck it came from. I mean seriously, there are planking groups, planking contests, planking obsessions—I mean what will it be next? Plank beef? Honestly, its getting out of hand so I’ve decided to do a post on the 6 reasons you won’t catch me planking….ever! Check them out below:

6. Um, why is it significant again? People have expressed different reasons for planking but the two dumbest and most common reasons I’ve heard thus far are, “I was bored,” or “Its’ fun.” Seriously, read a book!

5. Where did it come from? Before the top chief plankers of the world come for my jugular, let me just say this: not only have I attempted to do the research but many others as well have tried to pinpoint the exact origin of this trend but continuously come up short. I’d never join in on something I don’t even know where it came from—you never know what you’re representing. Some say it was one of the ways Europeans transported slaves, others say it came from some bored guy in Australia and until you can come up with an accurate origin for this trend, you can count me out!

4. Too many followers. I’ve always tried to march to the beat of my own drum, and if I do follow a trend it will always be representing something I believe in, am knowledgeable about and actually want to do it. When trends like these come about, I take pride in being the minority of those with opposing views.

3. I’m just too damn busy. I can somewhat understand why teenagers and children join in on the “fun,” I’ll never understand adults planking. There are way more things you could be doing with your time than planking, I’m sure a bill somewhere has your name on it. How about you find a way to pay it, rather than find a way to plank.

2. My clothes cost too much! You thought I’d dirty my clothes by getting on the ground or whatever else is available to plank? Chile please! I am by no means on “baller” status, and all of my clothes aren’t expensive but the only way I’m getting my clothes dirty is on accident, no bueno.

1. It’s down right unsanitary. People plank on the most disgusting and ridiculous things. That seems to be the goal, plank on the most outrageous and obscene things. They do things like this and even this not realizing that literally millions of people from all walks of life have sat, pooped, urined, farted, sharted, walked—EVERYTHING there! If you can think of it, it’s probably been done there and there is your cheek laying face down right on it.

I’m not too keen on catching a fungus to the face, so the only place you’ll see me planking is in a workout. Also, feel free to check out a couple hilarious videos of planking gone wrong below:

So (insert dramatic pause), who’s with me on this?

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