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It is the age old story. Nice guys finish last. Girls don’t want to date the nice guy. They want the bad guy. The he breaks her heart and they are never the same. I recently wrote an article titled 6 Ways To Tell That He Has Fallen In Love With You. The feedback from it was mixed. Some thought that the sentiments listed were sweet and even gave their own examples of incidents when they truly felt loved by their significant others. While others felt that list was unrealistic and that no real man would treat a woman that well.  Finally there were some that commented that if a man was this nice to a woman that she would be unappreciative and take him for a sucker. Really?

Admittedly, this response from other women took me aback. Have we sunken to the state of mind where we believe that a man cannot be good to us and if he does then there is a catch 22 to it? Or we now feel that is more emotionally safe for us to sit in a state of paranoia, waiting on the downfall of the relationship. Obviously I am not oblivious to the fact that the dating game is much harder for our generation than it was for our parents and their parents. Marriage is not taken as seriously and respected as it once was.  Also, with the emergence of internet, people have more avenues to do scandalous s**t, to cheat on spouses, secretly meet lovers etc… However, does that mean that women who want to give love, who want to be loved, who want a partner in life should simply give up? No it does not.

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Yes there are women out there who feel that a good guy is boring and not exciting enough. Those are the same women who are either always complaining about their man or become so bitter that they refuse to see a good man even if he is standing in front of them. These are the women who unfortunately have given up and that I feel the most sorry for. The women that feel that there is no way possible that a man could genuinely love you and treat you well, I urge you to take a look at self. Maybe there is something you are giving off to attract the opposite type of man. Maybe it is time to check what you are attracted to and end the cycle that has been created.

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I am here to say that yes there are some men out here who do not have our best intentions at heart. Yes relationships are more difficult now than ever. However, I urge all women, to try their hardest not to allow their heart to be hardened by some fool or fools mistakes with you. I am a believer that love is possible. Is it always an easy and clear path? Hell no. Will you have to try your hand at it more than once with different guys? Probably.  Can it be draining? Hell Yes.  However, the love that so many of us search for, or do not want to admit to our girlfriends or ourselves that we secretly want is possible. Even in 2010 when people compete to marry a stranger on TV.

Can you admit that you might be more attracted to the guy that is more liable to treat you badly versus the guy that will love you genuinely? If so, what are you doing about it? Finally, have you ever considered that the mentality that you come into a relationship with is part of the problem?

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