Part of the

BlackPlanet.com Universe

  • Welcome HELP
  • Profile
  • Log Out
  • Login
  • Sign Up!
  • home.
  • Your Glam.
  • Your Man.
  • Your World.
  • RSS
  • Email
  • Print
  • Sphere
« Previous Post   Next Post »

Define The Relationship Before It is Too Late

By Kasey Inderdahl June 30, 2009 11:30 am

There is one subject that never seems to escape my girlfriends and I, and that is boys, or men for those who are deserving. Everyday it seems one girlfriend or another is having issues with her man. Most of the time it is easy for me to diagnose. My girlfriends dread the “Define the Relationship” talk. A DTR can be a girls worst enemy or best friend, but either way it at least takes you out of the unknown, grey area that many girls find themselves in.

Why is it so important to have that talk, though? If a “relationship” is going along at a steady clip and everyone seems happy, why disrupt a good thing? The answer is quite simple, eventually one of the partners is going to look to take that relationship to the next level and if the other partner doesn’t see it that way there will be problems. Nothing sets me off like one of my girlfriends saying “We are…whatever,” when talking about their relationship. If you don’t know what you are or even if you are in a relationship, of course there will be problems.

The DTR talk allows people to save months of wondering and debating what will come. Also, by setting the goals straight away it could save the heartbreak of finding out your dream man sees you as a friend with benefits. If both partners have the same expectations the only problems should come if one person readjusts their expectations. I am not saying you will have the perfect relationships just by defining your expectations, however it will at least save you that stress.

Have you ever had the DTR talk? Let us know how it went!

TAGS: definition, friends with benefits, Friendship, partner, relationships
Share with Friends!
  • BlackPlanet
  • TwitThis
  • Facebook
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

Comments 3

% %

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  • addictive4_08
    addictive4_08
    7-3-2009 12:41 am

    I think anytime you cannot define the relationship,or you are still being introduced as “My Friend” there isn’t one.And I hear alot of the younger men calling their girlfriends (wifey) yes I know thats giving them supposedly #1 status.But does that mean that there is a two or a three.They use the term wifey so they wont have to make any real committment.I am an older woman but I wont allow anyone to call me that.First of all I have been somebodys real wife and second I dont need to be validated by any term other then my woman.

  • Kissmylyrics
    Kissmylyrics
    6-30-2009 1:41 pm

    Friend, companion, and caregiver is all I could ever be to anyone and when I explained that to my friend he really understood and saw the value in having that type of relationship. My feelings for him are really strong, but in this lifetime I have to sway toward my own values more than acting selfish to satisfy my own desires. Now that doesn’t mean that I won’t be hurt when I see him with someone else in the future like his wife, girlfriend or whoever, but it does mean that I can deal with my feelings very well even if I have to shed tears or take a little quiet time for my self.

  • AntiFeminization
    AntiFeminization
    6-30-2009 11:59 am

    With Western/American women, I DEFINE the relation, then they DEFINITELY run away.

    If they can wear the pants, they jet.

    Oh welps!

ADVERTISEMENT

The Latest!

  • Decorate With Candles This Thanksgiving
  • VIDEO: Janet Jackson’s “Make Me”
  • Dress Up Your Table This Thanksgiving
  • The Joy of Giving Back
  • A.J. Jewell’s Body To Be Exhumed
  • PASS OR FAIL? J. Lo’s, “Louboutins”

MEN OF THE YEAR

MEN OF THE YEAR

Check out DRAKE all cleaned up at the GQ "Men Of The Year" party!

ADVERTISEMENT

Hot This Week

  1. Did Fantasia Steal Someone’s Husband?
  2. WTF: Trina Beats Up Kenyon Martin!
  3. 9 Reasons Why Beyonce Shouldn’t Have Kids
  4. Which Celeb Do These Kids Belong To??
  5. Jaz-O Clears Up Jay-Z Gay Rumors
  6. Nivea Gives Birth, Lil Wayne Parties With New Chick
  7. Robin Givens Goes In, Oprah Apologizes!
  8. GALLERY: Rihanna Falls Down Drunk In London
  9. GALLERY: Is That A Swollen Eye, Rihanna ?
  10. VIDEO: Keyshia Cole’s Sister Elite Can Sang!
  11. RUMOR: Keyshia Cole And Daniel Gibson Engaged?
  12. What’s The Difference Between Bey, Kim & Trina?
  13. VIDEO: Hot Mess Fitness
  14. T.I. To Marry Tiny Upon Prison Release
  15. Janet Jackson: “Dr. Murray Killed My Brother”

HOT CELEB PICS!

HOT CELEB PICS!

Check out 100+ of the HOTTEST CELEB PICS out there!

HOT TOPICS

  1. 9 Reasons Why Beyonce Shouldn't Have Kids
  2. VIDEO: Hot Mess Fitness
  3. Did Fantasia Steal Someone's Husband?
  4. WTF: Trina Beats Up Kenyon Martin!
  5. Robin Givens Goes In, Oprah Apologizes!
  6. What's The Difference Between Bey, Kim & Trina?
  7. Nivea Gives Birth, Lil Wayne Parties With New Chick
  8. GALLERY: Rihanna Falls Down Drunk In London
  9. Why Do Black Men Think They Need Magnums?
  10. Jaz-O Clears Up Jay-Z Gay Rumors
  11. VIDEO: Keyshia Cole's Sister Elite Can Sang!
  12. GALLERY: Is That A Swollen Eye, Rihanna ?
  13. T.I. To Marry Tiny Upon Prison Release
  14. Hello Beautiful's Hater Hall Of Fame
  15. VIDEO: Beyonce Ft. Lady GaGa "Video Phone" Remix

Hottest of 2009

  1. EXCLUSIVE: Atlanta Housewife Kandi Burruss Speaks On Death Of Fiance A.J.
  2. UPDATE: Tameka Spits Fire At Usher’s Camp
  3. UPDATE: Pregnant Nivea To Marry Lil Wayne!
  4. RUMOR: Kelis Sex Tape To Be Released
  5. Why Are Women Hating On Amber Rose’s Butt??
  6. Lauren And Weezy To Raise Baby Together
  7. The Game Calls Beyonce An NBA Groupie!
  8. Meet Keyshia Cole’s 22-Yr-Old Soon-To-Be Stepfather!
  9. Keyshia Cole’s Mother Attacks Chili From TLC
  10. Teyana Taylor: “Drake Is Gay”!!
  11. UPDATE: Jay-Z Compares Lil Mama To Kanye (AUDIO)
  12. Michael Jackson’s Dermatologist Is The Father!!!
  13. Lauren London Gives Birth To Lil Wayne’s Baby!!
  14. UPDATE: Could This Be The Reason Ne-Yo Is Crying?
  15. UPDATE: Trina Claims She Slept With Kobe!
  • Newsone
  • The Urban Daily
  • Giant Magazine
  • Elev8
About Us / Privacy / Terms of Service
© 2008 Radio One. All Rights Reserved.