Top 5 Singers Who Can’t Dance…At All
5. Back when RIHANNA was actually claiming her Bajan roots, she could wine’ up like the best of them. But now that she’s all “Good Girl Gone Bad,” her one-two-step routine is, well, just that…because in this “Umbrella” video, she might as well be counting the steps out loud. Note to Rihanna: No amount of water effects will make your movements look any more fluid. Check RiRi bring back the robot at 1:10.
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4. CASSIE, for some reason, thinks less is more. That’s why when she “sings,” it really just sounds like she’s talking to a tune, with no fancy riffs or voice projection. (Who needs that?) And that’s why she thought she could carry her very first video, “Me & U,” all on her own, without special effects or guest appearances. Or talent. Her dance moves include making hip circles like a sex amateur and stomach rolls like a second-rate Shakira. She did, however, pick a step or two up from Diddy himself at 1:21.
3. Let’s just count how many times ASHANTI touches her hair in the first minute and a half. Like a nervous tick. She has no idea what to do, but she’s “Happy.” That’s all that matters, right? Except for when you’re an entertainer; then you should probably, at the very least, be capable of entertaining – and not in the way that people are laughing at you.
2. The video for “No One” is where ALICIA KEYS first introduced to us her go-to dance moves. She’s really got her feet planted there at :36, so much so that it looks as if once she got comfortable, she refused to move. It didn’t even seem to matter that the piano was behind her - she just decided to contort her hand to play accordingly. And look strange while doing so.
1. MARIAH CAREY’s videos are generally the same. There’s a diva fan somewhere blowing her hair off her face and into the wind, she tends to blink a lot while looking upwards, as if something’s caught in her eye, and she likes caressing her own body…pretty much anywhere – in “We Belong Together,” it was a couch and a car, in “Touch My Body,” a bed, and here in “Shake It Off,” a bathtub and desk. Budget is never spent on wardrobe because Mariah can (and will) rock a lingerie get-up or bathing suit, throw a coat over it, and call it an “outfit.” See her signature dance moves at the 2:30 mark. Is she throwing up gang signs?
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Babykakes11141-24-2010 10:53 am
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20thickchick12-18-2009 9:02 pm
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EACH ONE OF THESE LOVELY YOUNG LADIES HAVE THEIR OWN STYLE AND SO WHAT IF THEY DONOT DANCE LIKE THEY ARE ON DANCIN WITH THE STARS. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL TALENTED AND STILL DIVAS AND CAN GO TO THE BANK WHENEVER THEY FEEL LIKE IT. THEY ARE ALL MY GIRLS, FOR I’M OLD ENOUGH TO BE A FEW OF THEIR MOTHERS. KEEP DOIN WHAT U DO DIVAS AND DONOT WORRY ABOUT THEM HATAS OUT THERE. I STILL SHAKE MY ASS WHEN I HIT THE CLUBS AND MOST OF THE PEOPLE DONOT KNOW MY AGE UNLESS WE WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER OR I TELL THEM.. TO TELL SOME MY AGE PUTS THEM IN SHOCK. WHAT DO U DO TO LOOK LIKE THIS FOR YOUR AGE? I JUST SMILE AT THEM. (GOD) KEEP YOUR SIGNATURE MOVES LADIES AND REMEMBER U’R STILL DIVAS LADIES AND I AM A TRUE FAN. LUV U DIVAS
20thickchick
lmmfao!!!!! i remember when that shake it off video came out…. i shook my head like, they couldn’t do any editing with her dancing!!!! help her out, she looked terrible, i felt pitty lol. but rhianna can dance, she just in that weird rocker phase thing she got goin… how do shake yo rump to that? he he