Are Independent Ladies Too Much To Handle? What’s Your Opinion

By Byakuugan_Mod April 3, 2009 6:24 pm

BP Member lovinmusic

BP member lovinmusic poses the question “Have I become too independent that most men are afraid of a woman like me?” in the forum titled Have we as women become so independant or are we too much woman for him?

The debate rages on check it out here. What is your opinion?

UPDATE 4/4/09 I would like to thank all those who commented and will comment on this article.

I think having respectful conversations on topics like this can go a long way toward improving relationships within our communities. Many of the problems we face come from unexpressed expectations and being unsure of our roles as individuals within our relationships. Open dialogue is an important step into clearing up those misunderstandings. In case you missed it check out another BP community topic on “Family Secrets” and let us at Hello Beautiful know what you think.

Once again thank you, B-Mod.

TAGS: independent women, intimidation, relationships

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Ladyoo64

Ladyoo64

4-4-2009 9:48 am

EbonyPrincesse said it all. Case Closed!
ebonyprincesse

ebonyprincesse

4-4-2009 9:33 am

I believe that the word independent women is causing a lot of drama for nothing. Every woman should be independent. It is your responsability to take care of yourself and doing it, doesn’t grant you a new “status” or a new “persona”, and it doesn’t give you the right to mistreat any one (man or woman). To be an independent women to me is to have options.
airartist757

airartist757

4-4-2009 8:51 am

LIKE THE OLD SAYING GOES…NO MAN’S AN ISLAND….i BELIEVE NO WOMAN’S AN ISLAND EITHER. INDEPENDENCE DOES NOT MEAN ARROGANCE. TOO MANY TIMES A WOMAN WHO HAS CONTROL OVER HER LIFE , BEGINS TO TEAR DOWN THE SO CALLED MAN IN HER LIFE. ITS NOT THAT SHE’S TOO MUCH WOMAN FOR HIM….SHE’S TOO MUCH FOR HERSELF !
TsCustomTs

TsCustomTs

4-4-2009 4:45 am

I have met a lot of these so called independent women & my conclusion is that a lot of true independent women prefer weaker men who will let them run the show lol…. almost something like an additional child. Women you do not live alone if you have 3 kids living in your home with you, and independent is not section 8 hell that’s why my taxes are so high as of now lol
sexylady588

sexylady588

4-4-2009 3:41 am

i feel like this, if u a lady out here doin for herself and don’t depend on a man to take care of you then you are a independent woman. A real independent woman can livelife on her own, pay her bills on her own without being late or in disconnect status, or want her man to buy her the finer things in life. A lot of females fake like they got it goin on for themselves but real talk, they really dont. they want these niggas out here to believe they do, which is wrong. If you broke, live up to it. IM woman enough to let people know out here that im not the richest woman in the world but i can live the way i need to without the help of a man and alot of woman cant say that. I dont care if u liked what i said or not, we all got our own opinions on life so like it or not I DONT CARE!!!!!
monteil316

monteil316

4-4-2009 2:41 am

let me clear this up……uhmmmm im clearing my throat! if you are a certain age, there no such trhing as independent. you are doing well in life and you are supposed to and congradulations for being in such small company of people who have goals and common sense. what is independent, own car, job, house, nice close, looking good, smelling good, kids looking good, just remember one thing, YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST TO DO ANY OF THIS…… OR THE LAST…… independence is how you take on life challenges, and feel about yourself dealing with them. its very few by percentage that are 100, never put a man down if he aint got it, help those that do want it also
WONDERBOY972

WONDERBOY972

4-4-2009 2:38 am

Depends on that particular females definition of independent. Answer this question…Is that just another way of saying single, Black, mother taking care of herself and kids. Or maybe this one…I have to pay my own bills and Iam not worth a guy taking me out and paying for it. Ladies call yourselves independent but it is contrary to the definition of RELATIONSHIP or COMPANIONSHIP
ms_real2008

ms_real2008

4-4-2009 1:04 am

I think its great to be independent, because when s**t hits the fan (sorry for my french) a woman only has herself (maybe family and friends) to get by. There are many men who don’t want to help even when they ask knowing deep down inside that you want her to say no, but throw the offer out to be nice. Another thing is that a woman can spend her own money without worrying about a man complaining that she’s spending his money to the ground. This isn’t the 60s anymore and women should keep a separate account in case of a rainy day.
So to the man who can’t handle an independent woman, then your weak ass shouldn’t deal with a woman in the first place!
It_Iz_What_It_Iz

It_Iz_What_It_Iz

4-4-2009 1:01 am

I love an independent woman or a woman who has as much as I have. Some “independent women” take it too far and give the impression that “they don’t need no nigga”, a common phrase these women use. Well s**t, what are you? lesbian? lol. There is no such thing as independent love. Outside of extenuating circ**stances, if you are an adult you shoud be able to carry your own weight and be “independent”. Not nothing to brag about just like someone saying “I take care of my child”, well you’re supposed to!
amealticket

amealticket

4-4-2009 12:51 am

These so called independant women think their too much and they are stupid by default. They tend to be arrogant and their the ones that always say, “I don’t need a man to[fill in the blank here]“. I think they have male bashing issues. They want to be the man and the woman in the relationship. Most men aint tolerating that. These type of women want to be needy and independant all rolled up in one. They are usually confused as to how a relationship really works. Maybe they need a male opinion instead of going to their girlfriends and usuing the same lingo that makes them single their whole entire lifetime.
Datmanblac

Datmanblac

4-3-2009 10:20 pm

No one is truly independent….The end.
straight1

straight1

4-3-2009 10:09 pm

I would say yes independent ladies are too much to handle because they feel they can get whatever they want with their own money. The working women of today want know help otherwise they would not turn down the men who offer to help. I figure that should change now with us being in a recession. The women need the help from the men so their attitude about being independent should change.
PrettyBeautyQueen

PrettyBeautyQueen

4-3-2009 9:48 pm

Some men like women who can take care of themselves. Other men like to look after them.. The end. Lol.
crunkboy81

crunkboy81

4-3-2009 9:06 pm

There is nothing wrong with an independent woman. I find that trait in a woman attractive. It only gets too much to handle when she constantly reminds us of how independent she is. We all can see how well you are doing. I tip my hat off to you. It shows character, and that you are driven. Just don’t cut us down if we offer to help. Most men still display chilvary. It’s not to say you are weak. It’s just to show you we know you can do for yourself, but you don’t have to be in it alone.
Lahdeia

Lahdeia

4-3-2009 8:34 pm

First of all I would think a man would want a woman who doesn’t ask him for anything because she can get it herself. I do know there are some women who won’t admit that she does need a man. I am not one of these women
Lahdeia

Lahdeia

4-3-2009 8:31 pm

First of all I would think a man would want a woman who doesn’t ask him for anything when she can get it herself.
JJ_lawva01

JJ_lawva01

4-3-2009 8:29 pm

I would have to say yes…many independent women are too much to handle : at least the one’s that have the mentality that they dont need a man for anything are. I dont mind a women that takes care of her business. alot of guys are probably afraid of the fact that a woman will rub it in their faces that they make more money then the man. or they will feel like they should make all the decisions in the relationship. I think thats a real reason why many successful women end up alone. I think a relationship can last if roles are defined, who will stay at home with the kids? who will be the breadwinner…who will be the final authority in decisions.
DSPENCE86

DSPENCE86

4-3-2009 8:18 pm

I LOVE INDEPENDENT WOMAN
prepster702

prepster702

4-3-2009 8:12 pm

There isn’t anything wrong with being an indepedent woman. The only problem is some women have to understand what that truly means. Being independent means to have your own car, place, money and don’t have to rely on anyone else for the things that are necessary in life to survive. It doesn’t mean your not obligated to receive help (everyone receives help along the way, no matter how successful you are in life) it’s just means your not reliant on getting whatever you want. You do have those independent woman who are alot to deal with. Some independent woman feel that a man who don’t make more money than them, don’t have much to offer them. I don’t think that is true. I don’t think they are too much to handle, but I do think some women misinterpret what it means to be independent.
spotmac07

spotmac07

4-3-2009 8:06 pm

MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE IS THAT AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN DOES NOT WANT TO BE HANDLED. SHE WANT’S TO WORK LIKE A MAN, CONTROL THE CONVO,LIKE A MAN,AND F#CK LIKE A MAN, BUT STILL BE TREATED LIKE A WOMAN. BASICALLY A FEMALE GIGILO!! BUT WHO COULD POINT THE BLAME US MEN DO IT ALL THE TIME. BUT WHAT IT NARROWS DOWN TO IS THE SAME WITH A MAN R U WILLING TO BE HANDLED OR SHARE SOME HADLING (RELATIONSHIP)!! OR LET THE FACT THAT EITHER OF U COULD HANDLE UR OWN TAKE EFFECT.
missluv24

missluv24

4-3-2009 7:31 pm

I THINK THAT IF U FIND A MAN THAT IS AS SUCCESSFUL AS U MAYBE MORE, THEN THERE WOULD BE NO NEED FOR THIS QUESTION.SOMETIMES WOMEN CAN POSSESS THAT “IM TOO GOOD FOR YOU MENTALITY”…WELL IF U FEEL THAT WAY,FIND U A MAN THAT IS VERY SUCCESSFUL AND I GUARANTEE U,HE WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED.IF A MAN IS INTIMIDATED BY A WOMAN’S STABILITY THEN U DONT NEED HIM ANYWAY BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?! HE DOESNT HAVE ANYTHING.IVE OBSERVED THAT SOME WOMEN WILL DATE A GUY KNOWING HIS INCOMPETENCE JUST TO FURTHER BREAK HIM DOWN..ANYWAY,I SAID WHAT I MEANT AND MEANT WHAT I SAID SO IMMA PACK IT UP AND LEAVE.

IDIOS!!!
TanDan34

TanDan34

4-3-2009 7:20 pm

There’s nothing wrong with women being independent but it’s alot of black men out there that don’t even want to be the “man”. In my opinion this is why so many of us black women feel that we must become totally dependent on ourselves in order to make it. Don’t get me wrong, as black sisters we are supposed to make our own way and be proud to be the strong sisters that we are but don’t get it twisted that we don’t need a black man because we truly do, however many of our black men are using the “gold digger” cliche’ so that woman don’t ask them for anything nor do they want to provide for us. What are we to do?
realitycheck6

realitycheck6

4-3-2009 7:15 pm

My opinion is as states and we as black people are not understanding that the too independent black woman is that which was the creation of willie lynch and his manifesto.. now like everything else.. we celebrate it.. if black people would about face as Barack is doing with Bush’s policies.. it might not feel right but it will become real good in the long run… we need loving sisters to make our mates again so we can become a stronger race of people.. not women to believe they are the man… think about it..
allque8

allque8

4-3-2009 7:11 pm

LOL
CHEFDH

CHEFDH

4-3-2009 6:45 pm

Hello, no i find that a very exciting and beautiful thing. It bring so much to a realtionship and help continue to build strong bonds and commitment for each other.Now it has it’s boundries, it should not become a competition or create friction, each should compliment each other in what ever they do,But never allow it to become a unhealthy in your relationship.