What Happened to The “Good Mate”?
After being bombarded with Facebook statuses that gave a shout out to all the single moms on a day that’s reserved for dads, I got fed up. Every single one of my friends who mentioned Father’s Day gave a huge middle finger to the dads who weren’t man enough to stick around.
Where ARE the dads? Seriously.
I know too many single moms. I only know two dads (one still has a baby on the way). Why is that?
For the women: I know sometimes things happen that are out of your control and some women get dropped without any inkling something was wrong. Other women simply sleep with the wrong men. They knew he wasn’t the right one, wouldn’t do right, couldn’t do right, but they slept with him anyway and nine months later, he’s a distant memory.
Read the rest of the article at blackandmarriedwithkids.com.
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Comments 13
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alex_65_98
A very great, smart, and intelligent woman by the name of Jocelyn Elders (Former Surgeon General in Bill Clnton’s Administration) who saw the writing on the wall and knew that the future of the black family was in crisis. She honestly suggested and reccommended teaching masturbation, the use of condoms in our schools and teaching responsibility to our young women so that they could be educated to realize that childbirth is for committment and marriage, not a casual affair. At that time, the Mega churches were on the rise and black women were packed in the churches waiting for Jesus to come and were totally “Quiet” on the subject and gave no support. the churches who are supposed to be our black community support base refused to even touch the subject. White Conservatives had a heyday tarrring and feathering this woman for stepping up to address this issue, after all..they still had money to quietly pay for an abortion should their young female teenager go astray and get pregnant. That time in the past was the black community’s opening to address the teenage and single mother pregnancy issue but we fell asleep at the damn wheel like we alway’s do!!
It would have taught our young sisters that if you were feeling a little curious about sex, masturbation could be just as enjoyable and you didn’t have to worry about AIDS, STD’s,or an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy. And if you just had to experience the “Real Thing” by having sex then you would have been educated enough to have protected sex as a result of being educated under the former Surgeon General’s program.
Well..to make a long story short, Bill Clinton..aka.”slick willie” fires this great American under political pressure and low and behold BET comes along glorifying “B***hes and Hoes” stressing that the black community can be simply defined as being only about Sex and money for rims and the orgy has been going on every since resulting in unwed mothers. I had a young sista tell me a year ago that she got pregnant, but she wasn’t down wit marrying the babies daddy or being in a serious relationship with him from day one. I’m thinking, why did she bring a child into this world just because she wanted a night of unprotected sex with a man she hardly knew. Black communities caused this crisis because we are to blame and it’s too late to complain about this s**t now!!!
MsSasha777
C’mon now we just can’t blame the females! Both parties laid down together and are now responsible for a life, so yes ALL black people must understand what it means to be a real parent and more so to commit to each other as one flesh in marriage! I’m absolutely sure in the days of my grandparents they had alot maybe even more of the issues that we face in our culture today. BUT they stuck it out and committed to raising a family! Children are a blessing so maybe the abscentee does not deserve to be apart of that blessing!!!!
different_mentality
I AM 28 WITH NO KIDS..I WOULD RATHER BE AN X WIFE THEN A BABY MAMA… I FEEL YA GIRL..I BE DAMNIF A NIGGA NUTTING IN ME AND WE NOT MARRIED.LOL
mskristaleezy
I honestly think that there are way too many baby mamma’s and baby daddies in the world today and not enough married people and whole families. I am 24 years old and when I tell others that I do not have any children they find it hard to believe and say that I am an “endangered species”. I grew up knowing what the family life is like and also what the single parent home is like and I just prefer to wait until I am married before I conceive a child. I’m not knocking anyone for their decisions but I don’t want to be grouped as another statistic..
Lamarie3
Wow. It’s really unfortunate that the black community has an abundance of single parents. I think that this generation does not value the institution of marriage nor their bodies and that is why we are faced with this phenomenon. I was blessed to grow up with both parents who have been married for 30 years. I was taught to think of sex not just as leisure activity but as a means of sharing love with one’s spouse and procreating. I just wish more people in the black community would embrace these ideals and we would have more strong black families and less baby mama drama and dead beat dads!
NICOQ
Same here Kountry no kids, but to answer the ?
Some women simply sleep with the wrong men. And that concept continues to somehow escape the masses of disgruntled women.
This behaviour is unhealthy, and dangerous aannnndddd seeing as it’s helped bring the demise of the black family unit, Im wondering if the behaviour will ever change, but some are watching and paying attention. So until then
Continue on in futility.
Deuces \\//
Kountry_Mayne
no kids… so i celebrated fathers day by takin my father out to eat.
BendNot2Break
Ya know…I will say it time and time again but before you jump into bed with someone you should know that person well enough to decide that you want to share DNA with them for the rest of your life. As a woman you have to know that it will always be Momma’s baby and daddy will be able to walk off and you will be stuck. That’s why it is so important to take care of self and make the right decisions concerning your reproductive circ**stances. Hindsight is a b***h, which is married to that tough f**ker named Life. So before you slide in between his sheets know what you are doing!
CutiePie_315
Just because she’s a single mother dont make the dad a bad father, i think a lot of the times we just look at the slim top but dont look in to see how the father is paying their child support plus or how the father try to get their son but the mom stop them…geez not only do the fathers have to do better the mothers do too!!!!
butterflycover
Too many controlling mothers that won’t allow their sons to be stand up fathers. They fight the good woman tooth and nail and the hos that happen to have mothered their grand children are totally accepted because the ho makes his Mom Look Good!
Sunshyne_defined
too many bad choices, by everybody. we’re becoming selfish, and we think in the now, rather than worrying about the future. you don’t think about what will come tomorrow, only about our own selfish wants, and when kids come in the picture, we still refuse to grow up, sometimes. Make better choices, and when you make the wrong ones, stand by them, you made the choice.
q2shortdogg
I know a few guys that are great dads. I moved from Cali to VA so I can be closer to my son. I was in the military for most of his life, but I always made it a point to stay in touch with him and see him as much as possible, even when I was living in Cali.
2znm
too many players layers and decepticons out there is one of my major issues!!!!