Are Good Guys The New Hot Boys?

It’s a damn shame a woman can’t see the value and truly appreciate a “nice” guy until she gets up there in age. Interesting to tell you the truth, because a lot these same guys; were either looked down on, or considered weak and unattractive because of the same qualities those women now supposely find desirable. My question is, why couldn’t these women have this mentality before now? They’ve spent their young, vibrant years running after those knuckle heads instead, when they could have been establishing something meaningful and real that truly had their best interests at heart. Now that they got some age on them; a clan of kids; and they’re not attracting the type of men they once could; they’re ready to “settle” for for someone more stable. “The men can provide for us and our future children”. Bull Sh#%! More like “The men can provide for us (her and the stable of kids she already has).

Some women say they want a nice guy but most do not know how to handle a man that actually doesn’t fuss and fight with his woman. I am stubborn as hell but I still I am not the one to argue and fuss. I get called too nice by some. Why is that? I am in school right now, served almost 10 years in the military and I take care of my kids that I have by my ex. Most women dont like that fact that I place my kids first in my life because they are used to men that dont take care of their kids. Like a post I read before. It is a sad day when a man tries to teach his son to be a gentleman and he comes back and says that being a gentleman is not want the girls want. I have never been a thug and never will. I am too mature and educated for that. Another thing is that boys look at who their mom is dating and bringing around the house. If momma is messing with thugs and hood n!ggas that is what a young man is going to think is okay. We as men need to raise our sons better but if the father is not around then a woman needs to be able to show a growing boy an example of what a man should be by who they are talking to. Mommas need to also teach their daughter’s what a they should look for in a boy or man. That may help also.

This is really good “food for thought” and unfortunately, not many responders to this post. This idea of bringing back the “schoolboy-glasses” type guys who are intelligent and in the community doing positive things and learning to be a “gentleman” could possibly be the idea that saves the black community from total chaos and dispair. We have let BET and entertainment T.V. exploit and manipulate our young generation for the last 20 years into believing that “Thugs/Clowns/and “Bad Boys” were what black women really wanted and craved. Vivica Fox,Whitney Houston,Robin Givens, just to name a few showed the general public that being with a “Bad Boy” comes with a lot of unwanted baggage and negative attention. Fortunately, these sista’s were independent enough to make their own paper and move on. Our big money-making entertainment powerhouses use the videos to make lots of paper and millions but unfortunately dont realize the damage that it causes in the lives of our young 9 to 5 “Round the way” sista’s who hurry home to watch BET and Rap videos which exploit and hypnotize them into believing that a thug is the way to an adventurous life. This has resulted in our high number teenage pregnancies ,sexual assaults, and mental depression and emotional distress by sista’s who were “Turned Out” by these guys who just want to “F*** them like a Dog and Treatem Like a Dog”.
The time has come now for black women who have self pride in themselves to rise up and demand that our young brotha’s change their style which has gotten old anyway, just like “Baggy Pants” and Jerry curls got old. It’s amazing that we have been able to stand the same ole videos that talk about b***hes and Hoes over

So the pendulum is finally startin to swing back to common sense. When black women wake up to their power, then the revolution will begin. Here’s a tip. When guys first talkin to women, we’re nervous at the least if not outright scared. No one likes rejection and women for the most part control the reject button. So we watch. We watch other guys to see what works for them. And that’s when we see that all of that “What a woman wants is…” not exactly true. We learn that the guys who holla at women have much more success than the guy’s who speak to women. That the guy who tell a woman what to do has more success than the guy who asks. And that women seem to prefer a Dicktatorship vs a democracy. Years ago my 13 yr old son came to me and asked me about girls. And me in an effort to atone for my some of my doggish past told him…Be a friend first. Learn to listen to her and what she’s feeling. Be a gentleman have some class and don’t be too cool to open doors for her etc. This was a great moment. I was going to be a part of the solution. 3 years later, the same guy whom I’d taught how to ride a bike, hook off the jab etc. came to me and said “Dad, that advice you gave me about girls was bad advice. Those kinds of guys get played”…I have 4 sons. 2 of whom treat women like I used to :cool, aloof with just a whiff of contempt. They have no problem pulling or keeping women. I have 1 who is monogamous and 1 who’s a gentleman etc. He’s often called “too nice” and gets dumped and played. Breaks my heart to see it. My point is YOU GUYS CONTROL THIS MATING THING!!!! The only guy who really knows when he’s going to get laid is a rapist! And until black women confess, confront and correct their thug life addiction, then men will continue to do what appears to have the highest success ratio for their emotions, time and money. Oh one more thing…IF A MAN TELLS YOU THAT HE’S MARRIED OR HAS A WOMAN…LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! IF HE SAYS THAT HE’S SEPARATED THAT MEANS THAT HE AND HIS SPOUSE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TRYIN TO WORK IT OUT. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GIVE HIM SOME!!!! IF YA’LL WOULD RESPECT ONE ANOTHER HALF AS MUCH AS YOU SAY YOU WANT US TO RESPECT YOU, A BIG PART OF THIS “PROBLEM” WOULD BE SOLVED.

Good guys have always been hot boys, some women have just been too blind to see it. Like the article says, if he can’t dress, dress him up. If he doesn’t put it down the way you want him too, show him a few things, he may like it. If he treats you with kindness and respect, loves you as is, can introduce you to his momma without you having to ask, and doesn’t lay a harmful hand to you, you’ve got yourself a good guy. Outer beauty (and money) can fade. Inner beauty is eternal.
And there are some FAMOUS THUGS, no matter how much money they have, no thanks! I’ll stick with my good dude!

I sure hope that good guys are the new hot boys. Maybe our young men will learn to treat women with respect and and learn maners in general. Tired of looking at dirty azz drawers, not opening doors for a lady, and wanting to “run up in” everything that moves. Being in a relationship can be nice. Having a truck load of “Honeys” as they say ain’t good.

true @ LastManStandingTall…

but for me…it just depends on what you mean by “nice”. if you mean a doormat…then i will never go for that type of man. but a man who knows how to treat a woman with respect, yea i will go after that.

now, i also want a balance between the “nice” guy and the thug. i prefer the guy who has the positive characteristics of a nice guy, but who also has the swag and can put it down in the bedroom like a thug. now, if i have to choose between the two, i honestly would choose the nice guy. because they tend to have more to offer.

All 3 of you women are LYING!!! You women usually say you want a nice guy, but pick a thug over him. Then when it doesn’t go right, you say they’re not any good men around. You’re only kissing up to the so-called nice guys that are famous because they ARE famous, and have money. That still makes you gold-diggers…

Wait wait wait… I don’t know who determined the criteria for the “Cute but not Sexy” list but allow me to point out that Hill Harper does not belong on the list. That man is indeed a sophisticated kinda sexy who emobodies success, security, and swagger.