I Love My Black Woman’s Attitude!
Nearly a decade ago, a fraternity brother of mine bitterly confessed that he could not deal with black women. He is African-American by way of the Caribbean. Although I couldn’t say I hadn’t heard this sentiment prior to him stating it, I was intrigued to hear it out loud from someone so close to me.
This same man went on to declare that black women simply had too much attitude – on the bus, at work, in any given situation – just difficult and mean without cause or reason, especially the ugly ones.
A few years later he married a brown-skinned Dominican woman.
I’ve watched many black boys like me grow into men who exclusively date and many times marry whites, Latinos and other ethnicities that are not classically considered “black.” Some have been from the athlete set who are in many instances quietly “groomed” to pursue interracial relationships. Some have been artists who in their pursuit of life without restrictions refuse to be “tied down” to race and culture. But many have been outcasts – those in school who weren’t cool or cute enough, the kind that may have been a little on the chubby side, the ones who weren’t even considered when it came time to go to dances, parties or anything else social. I presume many in this last group might feel they had the last laugh considering the ongoing conversation African American women have today regarding the dearth of available “good black men.”
I was a member of the outcast set. Throughout most of my high school career, during the height of the eighties, I rocked a lopsided ‘fro and Coke-bottle glasses. I had crooked teeth which I hid from everyone by rarely smiling. All of this was attached to a slim body devoid of muscles. Be it snickers shared amongst friends or never being asked to any dances, the sisters made their distaste for me loud and clear.
Maturity has been kind to me. I shed most of my awkwardness as I grew up and as a Chicagoan who immersed myself completely in New York City life after grad school, I gained a savvy that allowed me to reinvent myself from the ground up. I’m happy to say this upgraded me had no axe to grind, no revenge to seek, no penalty to levy, nor any white women to flaunt in the face of my sisters. From my mother to my wife, I’ve never stopped loving the women I’ve always loved: black women…
To read the rest of this article, go to BlackandMarriedWithKids.com.
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Comments 36
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_chiick7-29-2009 5:15 pm
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alex_65_987-12-2009 3:59 am
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swaggasorite887-2-2009 9:34 pm
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Cocoasecrets6-10-2009 1:15 am
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txgirl_rider6-9-2009 3:28 am
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SnapshotNTime6-6-2009 2:29 am
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supasweet716-5-2009 11:13 pm
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Harvin866-4-2009 2:53 am
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SWANKness6-4-2009 2:03 am
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greywolf56-4-2009 1:30 am
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demoshe6-3-2009 11:37 pm
« Previous 1 2_chiick
whatever. one of the few who don’t look down on black women as less than and not worth two cents. get it from others and from our own race, we’re slowly being drummed out of society.
alex_65_98
THE SISTA WITH AN ATTITUDE…HMMM..irrational,snappy,introverted,confrontational, belligerent and refusal to abide by anyones rules…yeah sista’s, that’s a great role model of behavior for your kids to emulate, no wonder I’m constantly volunteering at the schools to work with our young black kids who can’t perform well in school because they are too busy trying to emulate “Mama” and how she alway’s act at home, at work, and even in restaurants. Yeah sista’s..give yourself a big pat on the back because as a result, many of the Sista’s with “attitude” are single baby momma’s who dont have good connections with their families and many of them act that way because they have been abused or let a bad man take advantage of them and now they hate the world. If you are a SWA(Sista wit an Attitude) and you got deep pockets,you got the latest dildo in your dresser draw at home, you got your own big house, nice car, and you are on top in the Corporate world and “munchin carpet” at least twice a week..I aint mad at cha, but if yo attitude has resulted in you getting fired from your job and folks don’t want to be around you and you still :shakin it to make it” at the club cause you need yo bills paid..then you need to stop because it portray’s an ignorant black woman who just adds to the black female streotype.
swaggasorite88
I wasnt even gonna comment on this subject, but i juss had to commend supasweet71 for hitting the nail on the head with this one! Black men act intimidated by our strength and independent attitude but if we, as black women, left it all up to them…we wouldnt exist!!! Black women has been holdin it down ever since I can remember!!! Since I have been bought into this world! My mother has busted her ass for over 21yrs and is still doin it today with Lupus diease. I have seen black women do it with cancer,AIDS, diabetes, drug addictions, alcohol abuse and in abusive relationships, with nothing and no one ESPECIALLY A BLACK MAN, standing up to the plate. So yeah, I got an attitude cuz Black men got some nerve, they should understand,better than anyone else where this attitude comes from and be able to handle it because WE ARE HERE FOR YOU! NOT a white man, NOT a Latino, but I’m tellin you now, you black men don’t stand up to the plate, YOU WILL miss out on your PHENOMENAL BLACK WOMAN
Cocoasecrets
This is a nice posting. I can honestly say though Im more attracted to black me, Im open to date any race!
txgirl_rider
If you can’t stand the heat ..go find you a big white girl!!!
SnapshotNTime
An attitude is a characteristic of all women. Color has nothing to do with it. It is just the perception of it only being in Black women. But this is the same black woman that stands by her man no matter what. Do you see the correlation? Maybe there is a reason for the attitude…If it was a woman of a different ethnicity that went through the same thing wouldn’t we expect her “attitude” to be the same? Give the black man an excuse for his attitude (drugs, father not present, rough environment, etc.), but not the black woman (cheating mates, father not present, no positive female in her life, tired of a no good man). Thats not fair.
supasweet71
It amazes me to hear black men refer to black women as if they aren’t a part of who we are. You all are us. You came from us and your daughters will be in that very same category you speak negatively about. I don’t know where we as a people went wrong but when I was growing up, I, nor any of my friend’s fathers were helping to raise us. My mother like most had to do it all. Work, feed her family, provide all necessaties to keep her household functioning and in tact. Our moms held it down and prepared their daughters to do the same. That is where the frustration, anger and defensive behavior comes. We love our black men …always have and trust me when i say most of us would love nothing more than to let our guards down and let our brothers take their place as the head of our households.
Harvin86
I have to admit, the attitude of a blk women can be very sexy at times, however, other times its just uncalled for. I too love the attitude of a blk woman and I have been a gentleman most of my life and kind hearted. Also, throughout my life most of the ppl whose treated me like an a*****e when I didn’t deserve to be treated like one, was blk women. Some family, friends, associates and complete strangers. So as I got older I changed my ways and started acting like an a*****e and that attitude got me more respect than I had hoped for. I mean, seriously, I dont know many blk women that care to hang with other blk women.
SWANKness
i believe if we as women acted like it, we’d get more respect..it’s hard for a man to respect a woman, no matter her attitude because of the images they’ve seen…how many profiles can you go through and see every body part of a woman? we’ve stop leaving things to the imagination..as a young black woman i dont understand the black girl is the ho, but the white girl is wifey material..and men need to look past the beauty && see whats really deep in there, no matter the shade of color..because when it comes down to it, we will all bust the windows out your car lol
greywolf5
Hmmm..Years ago my son came to me and asked “Dad tell me about girls” I cant tell you how important this was because it gave me a chance to maybe undo some of the madness I’d done based upon what older men had told me when I asked that very same question. So I told him to “be a friend” “learn to listen”, “don’t be a hound”, “be faithful” etc. 4 yrs later he came to me and said “Dad that advice you gave me was bad advice”…Mind you this is the same guy I taught how to hook off the jab, ride a bike an all of that. He said “that if you act like that you get treated like a friend…whereas the bad guys get the girls”..I remember learning that lesson too. From what I’ve noticed, men long to have peace while women long to have security…The Bible says that “it is better to live in a wasteland than to live with an argumentative woman”…Opinionated? I love it! Assertive? No problem! Strong? Wouldn’t have it any other way! Educated? She better be! Independent? I should hope so! But angry, suspicious, male bashing, jealous, insecure, vindictive, head rolling finger poppin and cussin? She looks better goin in the opposite direction…No man who values his sanity wants to pay ex-lover tax for the lousy choices you made in the past. No man who wants to live in peace wants to be hooked up with someone who’s a bottomless pit of unrequited love and sorrow…No man who values his peace will align himself with someone who deep down inside doesn’t really like men..Funny how there’s a word for men who don’t like women..But I’ve yet to find one for women who don’t like men…
demoshe
The reason why Black men are disrespected by most black women is because idiotic men dont go for respectable humble ladies.. they look for Big Booty freaks!. Do you know what a booty is for those men who look for Big Booty chics?.. its toilet..lol
Thats why I get offended when I see a woman taking a picture showing their asses.. It looks like they are mooning me, and trying to make me look like I am stupid! I love a respectable woman.. they do not necessarily have to be educated, but they need to act like grow intelligent humble ( no attitude)women!