By Shamika Anglin
Valentine’s Day for some is a reminder of failed relationships and an even bigger reminder that you’re still single. We women can point out the flaws of every man we’ve been with but never stop to realize we are the common denominator. Could it be the type of woman we are that keeps our Valentine’s Day so lonely?
There are four types of women no man can stay around too long, if you can relate to any of the descriptions below, you may just be one of them.
Ms. Deranged
If you’ve somehow gained access to your guys Facebook account then yes, you are Ms. Deranged. It is a rule of thumb that if you have to snoop in your relationship then more than likely you shouldn’t be in it. So if you have done this, and got caught, you shouldn’t be surprised if he went running for the hills. No one likes their privacy invaded and it’s an instant turn off!
Ms. Stage 5 Clinger
If you’re a stage 5 clinger, this may sound familiar: you get hooked fast, and it isn’t long before you’re blocking your number and resending text messages more than once to get a response. Honestly, this kind of behavior is downright scary. You don’t like when it’s done to you so why do this to your man?
Ms. Independent
Men love a woman who can take care of her own, and you should never feel bad for doing this. However, no man wants to feel as if anything he can do you can do better (even if that is the case). The ego of a man is fragile and making him feel as if he has no purpose can leave him feeling useless which will then cause him to leave you. Swallow your pride and let a man take care of you for a change, you might just like it!
Ms. Doormat
Ms. Doormat treats every guy she talks to like he’s her boyfriend, even when the title has not been given or a commitment been made. She gives her all to prove she’s girlfriend material. Men prey on this kind of woman because it’s easy. Ms. Doormat usually gives her “man” the message that to be her mate he doesn’t actually have to prove his worth. No man wants a pushover and he will soon move on to a woman that gives him a challenge. Hopefully he’ll do this before you invest the many years most doormats put in before realizing he won’t change.
Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be lonely, no day of the year does. But in order to find Mr. Right you should ask yourself “am I one of these types of women?” If you’re answer is yes, you just might be the common denominator that’s ruining your relationships and Valentine’s Day. The solution is simple, make a few changes. In the meantime, this V-day show yourself some love or hang with the girls. For now it’s just as great.
Dating resolutions for 2010 that you should keep
at 11:14 pm
Why is it that when black women take pride in all they do-SOME ignorant a$$ N!GGA come alone and type something dumb because some of us-BLACK WOMEN don’t need the man,gifts,candy,cards,etc to be happy on Valentine’s Day nor to feel loved. Why not go for it all year round instead of just for one day? As long as your happy with yourself nothing else really matter.(JMOA)
at 11:08 pm
true article. the women that do this mess won’t understand though. it goes over their heads. too many of my single friends fit the deranged, stage5 clinger, doormat categories. can’t teach them nothing either
at 9:49 am
A bunch of arrogant single women are all I hear.
Your attitude makes you unappealing to men.
I wouldn’t want u c**ky ladies even if you looked better.
Even ugly people have relationships. The problem
is some guy told you that you were the s@&$
and you believed it. Nobody is perfect
stop acting like it.
at 5:50 pm
(scrolled down to make a comment without reading a bit of this article)…ummm ok. Stop trying to lower women’s self esteem by making them feel they aren’t adequate enough to have a man. I’m not going to elaborate any further on this…next article plz
at 1:40 pm
Im still trippin off the topic-VALENTINE’S DAY don’t just mean you got to have a man nor woman in your life-to get a gift-its all about love and you can get that from your child if you got any or from your family and close friends. Im not going out to look for love and im not going to stop being INDEPENDENT-just so I can say he got me a gift-either. I get those things and love threw out the year and I don’t worry about V-Day because I know im loved.(JUST MY OPINION)
at 10:41 am
Wow! Well I don’t know how it feels to be lonely on v-day I always have some male companion wanting to take me out. (Whether it’s v-day or not). Sometimes it’s best to keep more male friends then female(not on a dating tip friendship wise) honestly they make better friends to me. Whether it’s someone I’m currently dating or one of my single male friends. I’ve never discovered a lonely v-day. Good luck lady’s I hope cupid finds you.
at 10:03 am
This Valentines you have to be ‘Single’ because it is Carnival Sunday in Trinidad and you leave the man at home… or go separate fetes(party)… cause it’s madness down here until next week…
at 7:02 am
Way to kick the lonely and sad women while they are down. I’ve met some wonderful single women of all races. The thing is, just because someone is good… doesn’t mean they’re good for me. I feel they’d make the right man a wonderful girlfriend and/or wife. Let’s be real though….. men play their part too. The lack of respect shown to women nowadays is sad. When more black men start really acting like men…. we’d all be better off….. from the communities to how our kids are being raised (or not being).
at 4:16 am
There are many reasons why women are single on V-day. One of the main reasons is because some men are not interested in settling down. While there so busy “playing the field”, women like:
MS. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-NT – get tired of waiting on “dead-weights / deadbeats” to get there act together (financially — U better call Tyrone).
MS. DERANGED – becomes insecure due to how she was or been treated be4 by other losers.
MS STAGE 5 CLINGER – falls 4 any guy that shows her alil’ attention. Still doesn’t give men (or women — it’s 2010) power to play on their emotions. U can tell if someone is going in that direction. If a clinger is not what u want, don’t prolong it (like alot of folks — lol do). End the bs and let her know why.
MS DOORMAT – tries to keep someone by letting em’ walk all over her. She feels that by letting men/women do what they want to do, it proves her devotion. But yet, there are still alot of guys (and girls
at 3:49 am
I do not fall under any of the points they made so I know I done things right. So if the writer of the article think some women like me who is single by choice have a problem getting a man, I got a bridge to sell them. I get marriage proposals regardless of what day and month in the year while I am still single. What they should be talking about is how to avoid losing a man when Valentine’s Day comes. Quite a few relationships fall apart because there was no proposal of marriage, no flowers, chocolate, gifts, cards, become drunk and embarrassing in public or just plain not saying I love you enough etc. People forget they should never base a relationship on material things or even take it for granted let along a marriage proposal. My last boyfriend cook a nice dinner for me and we had champagne at his house. I appreciated that greatly but did not wanted to marry him. From my observation some people are in love with the idea of getting marry but do they ever look at that person and truly honestly can say they wanted to be with them for 20, 30 or 50 years??
at 10:00 pm
Yeap this is my 4th year single w/no valentine, and this is the only year i actually feel a lil lonely, Im a mix of Ms independent and someone who trys to find flaws. But its not my fault im sooo independent other than i run into men who CANT do for me or are not doing enough–Im good tho my son has been my valentine the last few years
at 9:02 pm
my reason: i’m newly single! geez, do we have to have a man on Feb. 14 of every year? sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way
i have a couple dates lined up for this weekend, so i think i’m good on these “woman issues” lol
at 10:31 pm
Hmmmmm I hacked my ex’s FB account but I wouldn’t say I’m DERANGED!
at 4:17 pm
STANDING OVATION FOR ALPHAMANEC & DARK_ZERO.
at 3:21 pm
It is about time there is an article about how women drive men away. Geez, and believe me, a woman isn’t always as good as a man in everthing, please get that right Hello Beautiful. Some of these I agree with, especially Ms. Independent, I mean it’s not about the fragile ego, it’s about women who allow their attitudes and their self accomplishments turn them into a stuck up, hypocritcal a*****es that want to always tell a man what he isn’t doing right all the time, but she does everything perfect (in her reality). I want to add another one too, the trifling disrespectful woman that has over 50 guy friends that she spend too much time with and they aren’t having sex. That is B.S. and these women need to be slapped seriously. Why is that when a man has alot of female friends, it’s not right and if you have a right to feel uncomfortable, but when I say as a man, that you have to many male friends and I am uncomfortable, you call me insecure. How double standard is that.
Oh yeah, another type are the women who call a man gay because we caught you up in your lies and/or games. It’s funny, I am handsome, charming, and a well balanced man, until I hear your ex or boyfriend in the background, which you lied about having over there or still dealing with. Then I am a weak, gay a** nigga. Women today are doing things not because they have a reason, but because they are listening to the media, black men are allowing it, and women are getting more immature and ignorant as they age.
If you are tired of being alone for Valentine’s ladies, learn how to be strong and submissive with a balance. Stop always trying to be a man, and be the woman as God created you. Women have become so disrespectful these days, and you can’t blame rap videos any longer about the disrespect of women because even now R&B, Pop artists are doing the same thing. Women always have an excuse about their cheating ways, their negative remarks, and making a man feel like he is nothing, and many times, it’s not the man,it’s the woman who has the issues. You are no better than men, please stop thinking you are better. Because you have a job, or a piece of paper behind your name doesn’t mean you are granted superpowers, you are still a nigga like everyone else. You just have a few more doors opening up for you, that’s all. However, you can have those doors slammed in your face just like anyone else as well.
I am not saying the brotha don’t have their issues from the men that don’t want to work or attend school, the men who are in prison over stupid charges, and men who are lazy and have no ambition. However, its just not the men who are like that…What about the women out here having babies just to be a welfare check and use up those that are working tax paying dollars. Mothers who are throwing their babies in dumpsters killing them, and allowing live in boyfriends to hurt their children. What about those women..Let’s about those trifling people.
Just keeping it real people – Happy Valentine’s Day
at 7:42 am
I’d like to add another reason: romance gets in the way of friendship. People are so busy trying to dodge “friend zone” that they are stopping the one thing that allows a real relationship to actually last, friendship. Good thing I’ve got my friends this Valentine’s Day. Have a great one, everybody.
at 12:18 am
wow i think ive been acting like ms.doormat because i do be doing to much and it never seems to end up going anywhere-i learned something:)
at 10:55 pm
So much misery in the comments smh. I’m single and V-day is cool to me. Like someone said you can tell from reading the comments who are the angry lonely ones. Trying to act like your empowering women, please you’re trying to convince yourself that your not angry for being alone. Honesty is the best policy. But everyone enjoy your V-day if you have someone or if you’re single etc. Just be thankful you are alive and in good health.
at 9:13 pm
….us…. HAPPY “I LOVE ME SOOO MUCH THAT YOU NEED A RESERVATION” DAY my sisters! xoxo
at 9:11 pm
I’ve noticed that as V-Day gets closer, I’ve received more notes, messages and gifts on this site. I guess women aren’t the only panicking because they don’t have a special person for that special day. However, I’m still single by choice(clearly)
.. Ladies-we all now quantity doesn’t mean quality… just because you have offers doesn’t mean these men are worth a damn!. Guys like Alphamanec are a prime example-talking all that smack because he gets turned down!..
So do you my sisters-even if we are sans valentines on the 14th, we are still the bomb and special….waiting for that special person who DESERVES
at 8:43 pm
LMAO!!! I’m so glad I’m not one the women described here. So I guess I’ll finish making my “silly, meaningless and commericial” plans for Valentine’s Day. Flowers…check, dinner at a nice restaurant…check, lingerie for the “after party”…check, Not making up excuses as to why I’m single lonely and supposedly “NOT” looking for a man…PRICELESS!!
I swear let it go already, Lil Pookie has moved on got his new broad pregnant. HE CAN’T HURT YOU AGAIN!!! Now if you pick another Lil’ Pookie after the first one, is it the man or you???
at 8:07 pm
CAUSE THEY SPEND MORE TIME REJECTING MEN & LOOKING & FINDING OUT REASONS NOT TO BE WITH SOMEONE… THESE SAME WOMEN ARE THE SAME ONES WHO ARE GONNA GROW UP LONELY OLD LADIES & DIE WITH THEIR PET CAT AT THEIR BEDSIDE & A VIBRATOR THAT RAN OUT OF BATTERIES IN THEIR HANDS..LOL
WHAT WOMEN FAIL TO REALIZE IS THAT WOMEN DONT HAVE AS LONG A SHELF LIFE AS US MEN… MEN BECOME MORE DISTINGUISHED & AGE GRACEFULLY… WOMEN JUST PLAIN DEPRECIATE & MORE WOMEN LIKE OLDER MEN THAN MEN LIKE OLDER WOMEN.
& YA TITTIES TEND 2 SAG DUE 2 GRAVITY. SO TRY 2 LOCK UP A DUDE NOW WHILE YA CAN B4 ITS TOO LATE!
at 8:00 pm
real spit a lot of women that are single are just immature w***es lets be honest.
at 7:12 pm
I really don’t get the big deal that it makes whether you have a man on Valentines day or not…seeing as most women who do have a man still don’t get the roses, romantic dinners or gifts anyway.
To me, articles like this, just add to the plight of the Black Woman. Who wrote the book that states that a woman is only a woman if she has a man in her life to celebrate Valentines day!
Where does all that mess come from? Women have come a long way and to constantly see articles like this that try to place women in this “I HAVE TO HAVE A MAN TO SIGNIFY MY WOMANHOOD” crap is only showing the lack of confidence in the spirit and motivations of Black Women!