Dear Steve: Do Open Relationships Work?

Wondering when did steve harvey become dr. phill? The only person that knows if open relationships work is those that are in them! Experience is the best teacher and anything else is fraudulent on this subject.

You know why ahould you be considered together if one or both of you are seeing other people? It makes no real sense at all. As a black man who has had the what some would call pleasure of stroking so many different fenales i have come to learn like this…If she/her mindset isnt along the lines of we are striving to walk in our destiny, being closer to god so as to achieve the things we can not do alone. She just as well keep on steppin. Because then what do you seem to have left? material? sexual? Those things which are primitive. Animalistic even when you just get right down to it.

I feel that this kind of relationship can work for mature women who were maybe deeply emotional with their man at the beginning but now have too much on their plate(i.e. Climbing the ladder in the Corporate World,Low Sex Drive after childbirth,Personal drama issues that keep you out of the mood for intimacy,medical problems,or hormonal problems that have a woman less interested in sex) but still want to remain in the marriage/relationship. It has been proven that most brotha’s aint leaving their wife or significant other if she is a really good thing;even after having hot sex with another woman. Some very intelligent and knowledgeable sistas know this and don’t mind even being friends or shopping with the “other woman” because she knows that the other woman will give her husband a piece of ass whenever she has had a hard day at work and don’t want to come home and be bothered. A lot of people fail to realize that women are not as emotional as some men want to think and can be just as strategic as a man.Men just want sex but women could want anything from the rock on her finger , a house, benefits etc. and as long as a man is giving it to her, she could care less about what the hell her man does as long as he is good to her , not abusive and uses a condom and safe sex whenever he’s with someone else.

OPEN RELATIONSHIPS NEVER WORK.DISTANCE IS NOT GOOD.TO ME,IT MAKES BOTH PARTIES STRIVE TOO HARD NOT TO F***K UP BUT END UP DOING SO ANYWAY AND IT LEAVES THEM TOO MUCH IDLE TIME.NOT GOOD……….

Open relationship? Yall ain’t nothing but swingers running from one orgy to the next. You may as well group up in one house and keep it real. I do not condon open relationships and believe in being monogamous.

I am from Chicago and Steve’s Harvey’s radio show is heard in Chicago.
I have his book and I’m very proud of his success of comedy, radio and now his written works.

The topic open relationship is the old expression that is used by men today.
The new game is “The Internet Player The Player’s Game ”
Everything a man does today allows him to play games ;
the cellphone, E-mails, the Internet, Caller Id all of these items above are toys for the men to play the player’s Game.
Most men don’t want to commit to one women because there are too many toys that gives them that open opportunity to cheat and play games with the minds of women.

What do we need to do as women ?
Shut them down !
Just ask and I’ll tell you how !

l do not believe in open relationships l ve tried that before, its for people who out to do them and just have fun jumping from one person to another. As woman sooner or later our feelings get caught up and then we are wanting more and he is like well we dont go together you knew what it was anyway, so no open relationships do not work if you are a really a sincere woman who cherishes her body and mind.

Steve definitely gives good advice. He has encouraged me to get over a relationship and move on. I respect what he says… An open relationships are for ppl that are immature, afaird of commitment, and still want to play games. It means you or the other person still want to look around because something is missing from the one that person is with. Thats what makes an open relationship play a role– pros: finding true love in another person; cons: waste of time, more exposure temptation, and of stds and stis, then stay with the person you was already with. But when that person finds true love they will imply to 1 Corinthians 13:11… –When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I gave up childish ways.

I can feel the book. I know what I want in my life. So the book give some good points.

well as stupid as it all sounds, i think that we all have tried the ” open thing” once or twice. and i also feel that some women ; just like men like that ” non commitment thing”. it just doesn’t work for every body. and i think that once we as women realize that we are worth sooooooooooooooooo much more we require more, and that is the turning point that we must live thru to really understand how stupid the open thing was. lyfe is about learning when we stop learning is when we just exist

Um…..last time I checked…….a “romantic relationship” meant that you were connected to someone else…..so how can it be open?…….are you supposed to give (permission) to your significant other to see other people?……if that is the case, then the relationship is no more…….you’re just pretty much dating…….and if that’s what people want to do…..then just be open and honest and NOT SAY you want to be in a relationship when you KNOW you really don’t.

Steve has a very good point. Personally speaking, because I can’t possibly speak for everyone, open relationships are a waste of time. First off, why call it a relationship if there is no true commitment, Secondly, it is just a way of saying, I don’t really want to be with you, but i’d “hit” on a regular. I’ve realized that thinking that you are going to change an open relationship into something more serious just because you caught feelings means nothing at all. Move on, find something more substantial and worth putting the title of a relationship on to. If you want to just have sex, just have sex, don’t call it an open “relationship”!

i am soooo damn glad i am in an OPEN RELATIONSHIP! no sneaking around, lying, hiding, and i dont have to get jealous and neither does she! we have a very understanding and loving relationship as well as mature conversation and our friends for the most part are understanding. we pick our friends carefully and they seem to understand that its not what you do, but HOW you do it!!! most even say they WISH they could do what we do without the sacrifice and deception and guilt if they could be themselves, both MEN & WOMEN!!!! THAT IS WHY I LOVE HER AND SHE ME!!!