Dear Steve: Do Open Relationships Work?

Steve announced many times that he is not a RELATIONSHIP EXPERT he is a man……..and his book was written from a mans point of view ONLY…..get the book and read it ya’ll might like it…and he says many times throughout the book that he is not an expert…..He has experienced a lot and done a lot….and has lots of male friends with different experiences……NO one is saying just cuz he came out with the book that his way was the only way and there for the right way….its purely his opinion and experiences……..i never knew just because someone didnt go to school for relationships specifically….that meant they couldnt have good advice……I pretty sure we all go 2 someone for advice…..& sometimes it is very good advice & might not even have a degree in nothing….but they got wisdom & maybe experiences….And that is really all that it needed for giving advice.

Open releationships are doomed from the start. At first everything is great, the man get to play around and the woman can do the same. But, we are humans with feelings and one of the parties will want and need the other party to be exclusive to one person (me). So in the end the emotional needs to pair with one other person will win in the end.’

Peace
Black2you2

There is no such thing as an “open relationship” if it’s open then it’s not a relationship. It just means he is gettin his cakes and eating it too. Think about it he is having sex, when he wants with the woman whenver he wants, he doesn’t have to have no committment to her, he hits it, then goes, to the next chick, while the woman gets all caught up in her feelings. I think it is just plain stupid, and just a new term that means sex with no strings, that’s all it is. If u are in a relationship it means you and one other person, not more. It means that you 2 people do things with eachother that only ya 2 can do, you 2 share things, not just sex. For a woman to accept an open relationship she is just being dumb, he just wants to be able to have clear sex with no strings and just wants to make u the woman think that ya 2 are in a relationship hence why he uses that word. If u want to be in an open relationship know that the only thing u r doing is having sex, he has no ties for u. Just plain stupid, respect yourself, and no better.

Open relationships do not work! Open relationships leave a bad taste especially in women. I know some women who have sought revenge on the other women involved with their men because of the relationship being open.If you’re gonna have a open relationship, you might as well not BE in a relationship at all. It really defeats the purpose of calling it a relationship.

I have read and heard some interesting point of views on the subject matter at hand. I commend Steve Harvey’s attempt to share wisdom and experience with the community at large. We are all human and fall short of the Most High’s will. However, it is no excuse to remain out of line with the universal principles that the Creator of life(whatever a person calls him) ordained in the beginning.So keep this in mind brothers and sisters. Yet this is not a cross-examination of the writer of the material,but the content at hand.

I would like too begin by using some principles found in the Bible and other religious text as principle reference points.”Judge not, least ye be Judged”, “A person reaps what they sow”. “God is the head of Man, Man is the head of Woman, Woman is the head of children”, As as Man or Woman thinketh, so is He or She” And finally, “The Truth will set One Free”. We will also touch on the matter of what constitutes a man. Yet stop for a moment, and just ponder on the principles for awhile. These principles are extremely powerful and relevant for the rest of my blog.

Let me begin by saying that I am a blackman in my 30’s. I am a business owner and I am single. I too have played the game, the game of lies, cheating,betrayal,pimping etc…only too come to the realization that I am out of balance. The reason I was out of balance was several things. 1) Lack of Knowledge of my function and how it pertains to my environment. 2) What I constantly always found myself focusing on or thinking about. 3) Who I allowed into my space, or environment. All of this contributed too my own madness and dissappointment with self and our beautiful,wonderful sisters.

First lets go back to a major source of our sorrows and madness. I am talking about the Slave Trade that affected our forefathers and mothers. The purpose or function of slavery was to break the role and function of the family,man and woman. Men were transformed from their right mind to beastiality; that of a domesticated animal. Much like a well-trained dog. Women, by the way were the first slaves, they were reduced from their right minds to prostitutes and chattel as well. Women were some of the first slaves because our beautiful sisters are the first teachers of ourselves and humanity.So when the Slavemaster broke the woman,,everything was and is broken as well. The Slavemaster had too break our women and instill fear,distrust,and resentment in them that would be dished out on brothers..You often hear from our sisters mouths,” I dont need no man, You aint nothing and aint about nothing, He aint got nothing..his dreams are crack dreams and he dont know what he is doing…..”.This is a Fact my brothers and sisters. PLEASE CHECK OUT THE MOVIE SANKOFA….THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE……..so the effects of slavery has been passed down via DNA and environment to our present day. The only problem now, is that we are educated free slaves with no true healing in the wings…still waiting on someone else’s approval and the such. We as a people are proud of our ignorance of self and each other as it pertains to men and women in relationships. With no end in sight. Not only are men and women 100% dissatisfied, but now our children are suffering beyond belief and are only acting out what they see in their parents and society. Now natural men are wanting and acting out the women’s role and women now, are wanting and acting out the man’s role. In the end, as many people know, its anything goes now…THATS SCARY ON MANY DIFFERENT FRONTS. It is possible that we as people can become extinct if we stay on our present course. Pondered on that brother and sisters. KNOW THYSELF..GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING.

An adult is a being that is physically mature and able to make sound decisions based on what we know as facts and is responsible for his or her decisions. Pondered on that for a minute brothers and sisters. Responsible means that whatever decision an adult makes, they are personally accountable for the results or consequences. I AM GOING TO SAY IT AGAIN..PERSONALLY ACCOUNTABLE………..nobody else…nobody held a person’s life at stake for an adult too make a decision. Now the question is…how does this pertain too Men and Women, yet,especially the Blackman. Lets see. Dear brothers, lets be honest and admit, which is no more or less than confession,that not enough of us have focused on breaking the conditioning of the past and modern day slavery. Lets admit we are focusing too much on the wrong things, all the while wanting the right things which is peace,prosperity,joy, brotherhood,family, being a Father, Husband, and Friend too name a few. Lets admit, that we dont know how to escape our present condition, and/or reluctant to ask those who may be able too help. There is nothing wrong dear brothers for asking for help…..Question..what kind of help should I be asking for….Lets begin by asking the GOD WITHIN YOU FIRST….For behold the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand, it is within you. Hence Seek Ye the Kingdom of Heaven first, and all these things will be added unto you…What will be added. God will provide you with all that you need with a little bit of what you want…You will be able too take care of yourself, mentally,physically,financially,emotionally,socially, and spiritually. By doing so, then you can entertain strongly the idea of marriage, household,kids etc….Because make no mistake brothers as you already know, the subjects of marriage,kids, household will and should come up at some point in time during your courting,dating, relationship or whatever you want to call it. Here is where The Truth will Set You Free. Be honest with yourself and her. Let her know up front, if you are just about sex, let it be so. She only has herself too blame if she agrees to your proposition and expects otherwise. Yet brothers dont promise her the world and you know without a shadow of a doubt that you cannot deliver. Hence, you are a liar and she will respond accordingly.BEHIND EVERY NO GOOD WOMAN, THERE IS A NO GOOD MAN….. Think about that…….So whatever you do brothers be true to it….hence the world will be true too you. Some people call it…THE LAW OF ATTRACTION. Now lets speak on our beautiful sisters.

Lets admit brothers, there is nothing like a beautiful sister who respects herself inside and out. Yet reality says, not all of our sisters and women throughout the world are there yet. Sisters the same principles apply to you as they do to the men. Stop lying, stop feeling that you have to lye and validate yourself thru a man and games. Admit or confess dear sisters, that do you really love the God of the Universe and his principles; or do you love a created God that has been pulled over your eyes that had its beginings in Slavery. I am talking about Money. Be honest sisters about how you feel about money and the controlling of someone outside of yourself. Sisters ask yourself, do you know enough about the God of the Universe and what he expects of you as well. Why he created you, etc…..Your role or function. Admit dear sisters, what has been passed down via your grandmothers,mothers,aunts,sisters,neices, neighbors etc…..Examine what has been passed down via conversations and see if you have the desired results you say you want in life. Just remember, the Moon needs the Sun, it is not the case in reverse. Do you know the real meaning of marriage? Or is it something to do, or acquired want because your friends and family members are getting married. Ask yourself these questions and more dear sisters.

I hope this has uplifted some brother or sister somewhere; even more so humanity. Everyone, stay in prayer and stay focused on what matters most in life. Hence keys too success.

Peace 2 All,
T

Steve tells it like it is…I just watched that short video clip. Ladies you REALLY need to listen to him. He is telling the truth!!

Well I am engaged and very happy with my fiancee he is a great man. Everyone has there own opinion on this topic and mine is if you are going to have an open relationship, then dont be together. It causes nothing but problems. Also with condoms or without them, there are too many diseases and HPV can be contracted even if you wear a condom, once a woman contracts HPV, the virus itself can cause cancer. I am glad that my fiancee and I are faithful. Open relationship is as dangerous as domestic violence. I mean please in todays society there are crazy people out there and too much bs going on. So if you are not ready to be committed to someone or you fall out of love with them then you need to tell them!