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Moving In With Your Boyfriend: How Soon Is Too Soon?

By Hello Beautiful January 6, 2010 2:30 pm

black_couple_moving.14831700_std

A new year has begun and whether it’s challenging yourself at work, accepting a new job offer, attempting to lose weight or quit smoking, everyone is making a change in 2010.Some people have determined that this year is the year to take their personal relationships to the next level. If wondering whether or not to move in with your boyfriend, take this advice (from eHow.com & TheFrisky)

WHAT TO ASK YOURSELF FIRST:

How long have you been dating?
There are some people who moved in after a couple months of knowing each other and it worked out. For the other 98% of them, it didn’t. So be logical about it. You can’t really know all that much about someone after two months, but after a year you’ll know how often they cut their toenails, and what they do with the clippings.

How often do you hang out?
Are you one of those couples that lead two totally separate lives or do prefer to spend the majority of your time together? If you’re the latter, moving in will likely be a smooth transition. If it’s more like you see each other a couple times a week, try increasing the amount of nights you stay with each other as a sort of trial-run.

Do you want it to last forever?
Moving in because your lease is up or because it’s cheap are not good reasons to start living together. The main point of co-habitation is to take things to the next level. Some people even wait until they’re engaged. Bottom line: Don’t move in with unless you know you’re with the right person. READ MORE BELOW!

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BEFORE YOU MOVE IN:

Define your relationship. Do an emotional inventory. Make sure you are both on the same page and you are both ready to make this step. Think of why you are moving in.

Consider finances. If you are getting a brand new place and have never lived alone, you might want to budget out your expenses. Consider rent, utilities, food, transportation, furniture, repairs and other incidental costs. Decide on how you are going to split the costs.

Lay down rules. Have a plan for when issues come up. Explain some of your habits and expectations and be prepared to make some compromises.

Dating Website Kicks The “Fatties” Off!

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ONCE YOU MOVE IN:

Leave yourself some space, still making time for your friends and other relationships. Get out of the house together, instead of staying cooped up. Also, have a separate study or work place where you can be alone every now and then.

Have a backup plan. It’s not pessimistic to prepare for the worst case scenario. Rather than being homeless or stuck with someone you don’t have feelings for anymore, leave yourself an out. Have some savings put away or have a contingency plan.

Integrate. If you are moving into his place and bringing all your stuff, you’re going to need to figure out how to make it a shared space. It’s unlikely that you need two coffee tables, two beds, two sofas and two TVS. You are both likely equally attached to your possessions, so work out a compromise.

Dating Resolutions For 2010 That You Should Keep

TAGS: moving in, relationship, the next step
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Comments 13

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  • FiveNine5
    FiveNine5
    1-19-2010 8:58 pm

    Not without the platinum hardware and a pending mortgage closing date.

  • RichardMann11
    RichardMann11
    1-15-2010 5:17 am

    why move in with him. stay at ur own place and have it ur way. someone posted ‘what happened to vales’. wtf values got to do with moving in together? lol. the last thing a man or a woman needs is to be moving in together. its a great way to ruin things. u wanna mess up ur relationship? move in together. nothing like living alone, when things get rough you can always ask the other to leave or u can go home if ur at their place. go home to a drama free enviornment. when u move into together u automatically dry up ur sources of sex. WACK!! ladies if u vaule ur man and relationship dont move in with him cause more than likely he dont want u to move in with him anyway. and I bet in most cases it was the woman’s idea to live together. stop pushing urself on men ladies. DAMN!!

  • stevenk09
    stevenk09
    1-14-2010 4:19 am

    well i guess im one of the 2% coz i moved in with my gurl after dating for 3 months and we have been together for 4yr now. u gotta know the game tho lol.

  • Jazzo72
    Jazzo72
    1-14-2010 4:12 am

    idk…im kind of skeptical of getting an apartment with my boyfriend. he popped the big question a couple of mths ago and we have been together for 9mths now. i dont think im ready for that because im so use to having my own space. my biggest fear is that he will get too comfortable living wit me and he will never wont to get married. i can just hear him now, “oh baby..why do we have to get married? we already living together and it feels like we married?” then i will be just like the rest of these women out there who have been with a man for 10+ yrs and still not married. yea rite..not happening lol

  • phelicia_kisses
    phelicia_kisses
    1-11-2010 12:45 am

    Well… Me and my man been knownin eachother for 6months we decided to get a place together and you are right it depends on the relationship uall have and where u stand. but before I moved in with him I actually lived with him to get the feel of being around him and I actually like and love waking up to him every morning. But of course his 8yrs older than me but its all on the indivdual. If u do the unthinkable there’s a possiblitiy it can be something amazing.

  • CHl_BAD_BlTCH
    CHl_BAD_BlTCH
    1-10-2010 1:30 pm

    There should be no moving in together until there is a physical engagement ring on your frigging finger!

    http://www.theblacklabelsociety.com/

  • oprahsbionicnipple
    oprahsbionicnipple
    1-8-2010 12:05 pm

    What ever happened until waiting until your married? I guess nowadays people don’t care if they are married or not…

  • Dark_Zero
    Dark_Zero
    1-7-2010 1:42 am

    Why does it say moving in with your boyfriend, when it should read moving in with your mate, because women are easy to live with either. So biased, there are men who move in with their women and some of them have their own stuff as well, and the woman might not want to move. Get with the 2010, and not the 1975. Peace!!

  • lovelife2010
    lovelife2010
    1-6-2010 4:16 pm

    I think the only time this is acceptable is when you waiting on YOUR OWN apartment and it is just temporary for like a few weeks. Other than that, and if I’m not married or have a commitment; you got me fu*ked up!

  • jhillblessed
    jhillblessed
    1-6-2010 3:27 pm

    What happen to values.. marriage 1st ?

  • Kris_87
    Kris_87
    1-6-2010 2:50 pm

    @ChoPueInd_Luv i didn’t think anybody else was gonna say it…

    too soon for me is any point before the wedding.

  • ChoPueInd_Luv
    ChoPueInd_Luv
    1-6-2010 2:39 pm

    Move in with your husband, not your man!

  • DangerouslyInLove
    DangerouslyInLove
    1-6-2010 2:33 pm

    You said it all: don’t move in together unless you know you’re with the right person!

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