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If you’ve broken up with your significant other and want to move on here’s our mantra: You must pre-live the future, not re-live the past.Here are some tips from blackvoices.com:

Breakups are rough. No matter how much your friends talk, your mother comforts, or co-workers attempt to distract you, getting over him is always far easier said than done. For women especially, the daily, sometimes hourly, change of emotions can be an overwhelming burden to deal with. Missing him, but not missing the bull that led to the relationship’s demise, can put you in a state of confusion for far too long.

Stop stressing and obsessing, here are eight things you can do so your breakup won’t lead to a breakdown. In this order:

1. Stop telling the story

You’ve told all your girlfriends, your mom and your hairstylist what happened with the two of you. Is there really a need to tell your mailman, manicurist, and all of Facebook? The more you have to go through the sad or shocking details of the breakup, the longer it takes to begin the healing process. Tell those that you trust will give sound advice and stop it there.

2. Turn off the radio

Ne-Yo said it best: “Said I’m so sick of love songs so sad and slow/So why can’t I turn off the radio?” Music is powerful; when going through hardships it can be used to heal or prolong the hurt. Rest assured, there will be way to many songs that remind you of him. Don’t torture yourself with Usher’s, ‘Daddy Home,’ knowing your man hasn’t been home for a while and isn’t coming back.

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3. Start on a project

This can be as simple as rearranging your closet or a more involved task such as renovating your home. The ending of relationship frees up time, time that if you’re smart you will invest in yourself. So take that French class, build your stock portfolio or buy that dog you wanted. Yes, these are all fabricated distractions, but distractions that don’t involve a rebound are always more beneficial than detrimental. Projects are better than sulking on your couch… which leads to the next point.

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